


Life Behind Glass

by JenSpinner



Series: The New World [1]
Category: (The 100 Inspired In Parts), Supernatural
Genre: 'Angels' are not actual angels, Animal Death, Balthazar & Castiel (Supernatural) Friendship, Castiel & Gabriel Friendship, Castiel & Jo Harvelle Friendship, Castiel is the cure, F/F, F/M, Feeling Trapped, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Having Faith, Humanity, Hurt Castiel, M/M, Maggot Racing, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Protective Gabriel, Science, Secrets, Self-Sacrifice, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Survival, This work is Grammarly checked, Trust, friendships, having hope, radiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-04-18 01:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 34,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14201652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenSpinner/pseuds/JenSpinner
Summary: The human race has been running experiments on people for the last thirty years, the radiation levels are lowering and they now want to send the first group out into the world to see if they can survive the radiation.The group - known as 'Angels' were all genetically modified test tube babies. Amongst them, Castiel, Gabriel, and Balthazar.The group of Angels go out into the world. Some die within a few days, from exposure. After thirty days, the surviving Angel's return to base, the airtight facility that contains the last of the human race.The scientist's now have the means to make a formula that would make everyone immune to the radiation like Castiel is.The remaining Angel's are kept apart from the general population of the base... But they can have visitors.Dean Winchester, who has always been fascinated by the idea of 'outside' goes to visit the Angels, to see what they found outside and through an inch thick glass pane he forms a strong bond with Castiel.





	1. The Angel's

 

Gabriel was not happy. Balthazar and Castiel could see it, he was so done, being a number, being a test subject. 

"We shouldn't have come back," He said as they waited naked in line for the decontamination showers. They were blasted repeatedly with scorching hot water that made them feel like their skin was on fire, then water so cold their nerves ached. Then they passed, dripping and shivering into the next section of the clean down. Standing in a small room they were blasted with warm air and then, once again, the temperature dropped and the air chilled them to the very core. 

"Where would we have gone?" Asked Castiel 

"Anywhere. We know we can live outside now, we can survive. Screw these arseholes and their rules. We could have survived out there"

Castiel shook his head "We're the last hope for people to find a way to live out there"

"Yeah, we just handed ourselves back to a group of people who are going to be prodding and poking at us and testing shit on us until they find a way to help themselves... We aren't people to them, we're fucking experiments - I'm sick of it" Said, Gabriel, as he grabbed a white dressing robe and put on. 

"I know, but we need to help. If we can. Besides, I will be glad to get some real food. And use a toilet again" Said Balthazar looking at Gabriel "Wiping on tree leaves is not exactly luxury" Balthazar handed a robe to Castiel and then pulled one over himself and grabbed a toothbrush and scrubbed out his mouth before spitting out the toothpaste into a sink. 

"So we gave up our freedom and the possibility of living like people instead of lab rats to use toilet paper?" Grumbled Gabriel 

"No, we came back to try and help, to give everyone else living in the base a chance to be able to come to the surface"

"Thirty 'Angels' went out and twelve come back," Said Gabriel "Twelve. They sent us out there to die"

"They sent us so that we could try to live" 

After the decontamination was complete, the twelve angels were allowed back into their old living quarters, the cold grey cement walls and the cells where they lived looked harsh and dull after the vibrant green forest they had been living in for the past month. 

"I will miss the colors," Said Castiel thoughtfully as he looked around "I never really knew how dull it was in here before we went out. Now it just seems... lifeless" 

"Probably doesn't help that there are eighteen of us missing," Says Gabriel unhappily "We should have left" 

Castiel ignores Gabriel, he's heard it all before, Gabriel had wanted to leave almost as soon as they were let out. He'd thought it was a waste to pass up an opportunity for freedom, but as Castiel and Balthazar had both insisted on completing the mission and returning, Gabriel had unhappily agreed. As they reached the kitchen area of their small world they noticed a large plastic box. Filled with food. 

"See?" Said Balthazar, as he pulled off the lid of the box and held up a loaf of bread "There was none of this out there. No more of those damn berries that gave me the shits for like a week. Real food" 

"Well, don't keep all that freedom sacrificing worthy food to yourself Bal, share the wealth" 

"Is there any honey?" Asked Castiel peering into the plastic box "I know they said the bees weren't doing so well when we were here last, I wonder if they're better now" 

"There is one jar of honey," Said Balthazar passing it to Castiel "I'm sure your bees are just fine" 

"They aren't my bees," Said Castiel "I've never even seen one, outside of a book. I wish we had seen some outside, do you think they all died out?" 

"No," Said Gabriel, "I think if we had gone out earlier in the year you would have seen one. It's probably just because it's getting colder out there now"

Castiel gave Gabriel a smile, he wasn't sure if Gabriel believed what he was saying or if he was just saying it because Castiel liked bees but either way it gave him a little hope. 

Gabriel then went on "That's why they only wanted us to stay out for thirty days, I think they did it at this time of year on purpose - so we would feel like we would have to come back because of the cold"

Castiel said nothing, he didn't confess that the very same reasoning had occurred to him too. But really, he couldn't blame them, they were desperate to get to the surface and having now seen it for himself, he couldn't hold it against them, Earth was beautiful and green and there were so many trees and plants and he'd seen animals in the wild that he'd read about in books... He wanted everyone in the base to get that chance, he wanted to help. But, even more so, he wanted to be normal, if everyone could come outside - he wouldn't be different anymore and he could meet the other people of the base without worrying about making them sick, or them making him sick... 

Everyone living together, no glass dividing him from the rest of the world... That was the dream he'd returned for. 


	2. Number 7

The Angel's lined up to wait for testing. With Gabriel grumbling louder than ever when they were called by their number and not their name, he cast an annoyed look back to Balthazar and Castiel before walking through the open sliding doors and being sprayed with a sterilizing vapor. Then they saw him walk through another set of sliding doors to the testing room. Where they could see at least two doctors wearing hazmat suits waiting. 

"Think he'll be alright?" Asked Castiel looking at Balthazar

"It's those doctors I feel sorry for right now" Laughed Balthazar "No doubt Gabe will be giving them a piece of his mind" 

Castiel smiled, he could only imagine the ear full the doctors would be getting from his friend "One day, we will all be able to go to the surface, and Gabe will love getting all the attention for being a hero" 

"You really think we will all get to the surface?" Asked Balthazar

"You don't?"

"I don't know" Confessed Balthazar "I would like to believe that we will, and we are certainly closer today to that goal than we have ever been in our lifetime. But I don't know, and it seems an awfully risky thing to put all my hopes and dreams into"

"What do you put your hopes and dreams into then?" Asked Castiel 

"Good food, hot showers, toilet paper, and my friends. You and Gabe mainly. There was Michael... " Castiel placed a hand on Balthazar's shoulder, a small show of comfort. 

"I am sorry about Michael. I know you and him were close too" Said Castiel sadly 

"We were, towards the end. He was always a good friend to me. He was like you, he believed we would get everyone to the surface, even when he knew he wasn't going to be around to see it, he remained steadfast in his belief. We were going to save the human race... One way or another"

"What do you mean, one way or another?"

Balthazar looked at Castiel "Well, Michael believed that if getting the current population of the base to the surface was ever ruled out as an option that we would... There really is no polite way to put it, but he thought we would be given repopulation duties... In other words, we would get paired up with the next generation of angels, who all happen to be female, and would begin to create the future of the human race that would be able to go outside"

Castiel frowned "But we've never even met them? The only women I have ever met have been Doctor Masters and the few that come to talk to us at the window" 

"I know, trust me" 

"I don't even know that I like women," Said Castiel uncertainly "And what about them, they're just supposed to be baby-making machines?"

"I guess we will finally see how fine the line is between, volunteering and being forced"

Castiel furrowed his brow thinking "They wouldn't do that? Would they?" 

Balthazar shrugs "I don't know"

An uneasy silence settled over them as they waited for Gabriel to return. 

***

A strong voice boomed out over the tannoy "Number Seven"

Castiel glanced at Balthazar "Guess that's me"

"See you later, number seven," Said Balthazar smiling.

With one last little wave Castiel walked barefoot across the cold cement floor to the sliding doors, he saw Gabriel on the other side of the glass. Being sprayed with the same sterilizing vapor as before, then the doors opened and he walked through, changing places with Gabriel. The doors behind him slid shut and he waited for the cold vapor to hit. He closed his eyes and sucked his lips in tight, the spray hit and it smelt of chemicals. He heard the door in front of him open and he opened his eyes, looking up and stepping forward into the testing room. 

"Castiel" 

"Doctor Masters" Castiel gave her a friendly smile

"Meg. I'm glad to see you again" She holds out a gloved hand and Castiel shakes it "You look well" 

"Meg," Said Castiel taking his hand back

"Sorry about the stupid number thing. I tried to get them not to do that, pretty fricking tactless if you ask me" 

"You mean because we use to go up to thirty and now there are only twelve of us?"

Meg gave Castiel a sad look through the plastic screen of her hazmat and sighed "Yes. I'm sorry"

Castiel sighed, waiting. 

"I need to check you over, all the usual things, blood test, eye test, hearing test, ask you a few questions about what you ate and drank out there, and if you've had any symptoms of sickness?" 

"I drank rainwater after our water supply ran out, I ate mostly berries but they were making people sick, I think some of the plant life was poisonous, it may have been the cause of more than one fatality. After we discovered it was that, we didn't want to risk continuing to eat the berries, they were making people ill, so we hunted. Mostly rabbit and squirrel, there was a deer.  We cleaned everything in rainwater and cooked it on the fire"

"Do you think you would be able to identify the berries that had been making people ill?" 

"I could tell you which ones we ate, but I don't know which were the poisonous ones, there were at least five different varieties"

Meg nodded "Ok, let's have a look at your eyes" She held up a small torch and shone the light into Castiel's eyes, telling him to look up and down and from left to right. Then she asked him to turn his head and had a look into his ears as best she could from behind her mask. And finally she told him to open his mouth and she shone the light down his throat "Everything looks fine, no signs of any problems" 

"I feel fine. A little depressed maybe, losing so many people, people I've known my entire life... I haven't slept very well but other than that, physically - I feel fine"

"Did you bury them? The others" Meg spoke quietly, this was not her doctor voice, this was her voice - that told Castiel she did care. 

"We burnt the ones who seemed to get sick from just being outside. Buried the rest" Said Castiel grimacing at the memory "We burnt six people" 

"I'm going to take some blood now, okay?" Sniffed Meg, giving Castiel a weak smile

Castiel held out his arm and watched as Meg wiped across a vein with a cotton ball dampened with alcohol, she picked up a needle and gave Castiel an apologetic look before pressing it into his flesh, then pressed a fresh cotton ball to it as she removed the needle. 

"Hold that down for me," She said as she sorted out Castiel's blood sample and then got him some medical tape to hold the cotton ball in place.

After his medical examination was finished and Meg's only advice was to try and get some more sleep, Castiel had left the testing room and rejoined his fellow angels. Finding that Gabriel had gone to bed, moody after his doctor's appointment and Balthazar had his medical examine straight after Castiel.

Castiel grabbed a slice of bread and chewed it slowly as he leaned against the wall to the side of the glass window, so he could see down the corridor beyond. He wondered what it was like in the main areas of the base, how many more people lived there, all those faceless men and women he and his friends had given up their freedom to try and help. They were, after all... Just as trapped as he was. 

His thoughts were broken by a man, a man walking toward him on the other side of the glass, he hadn't spotted Castiel and that gave Castiel opportunity to stare... This was someone new, maybe it was that that had intrigued him instantly? Maybe it was the way the man looked so out of place and awkward. Or maybe... it was the way the green of his eyes flashed in the light in the corridor that reminded Castiel of all the green of the forest... 

*** 

Dean had heard that the angels or those that had survived at least were back. He had completed his work in record time. Fixing machines was child's play to him and he checked everything worked before he went back to his room, he shared a small room with his brother Sam, they had bunk beds and one wardrobe between them, times were hard and they refused to take anything more than they needed. He told Sam where he was going, grabbed a pencil and notepad which he shoved into his pocket and left, today, he was going to talk to an angel. Today he would find out, what outside was like... 

Dean walked up to the glass window, it was odd at first, he felt a weird sense of shame it was like he was looking at animals in a zoo, that shouldn't be treated that way or kept in cages. He tried to convince himself that the angels would want to see someone new, would want to talk to him... He stood looking into the angel's communal area for almost a minute believing his arrival had gone unnoticed. Just as he had convinced himself he was going to leave and made a move to turn away, a soft voice reached his ears. 

"You don't have to" 

Dean's eyes darted in the direction of the voice and he saw, he was being watched. A dark haired, blue eyed angel walked over to the window "You don't have to leave" He repeated 

Dean blinked at him "I feel... A bit weird about just standing here watching you all" 

"Well, now you're talking to me, less weird? Right?" 

"I guess" Dean tried for a friendly smile, but he guessed it would look more like an uncomfortable shrug "I'm Dean" 

"Nice to meet you, Dean, I'm number seven" He smiled "Castiel" 


	3. I Miss The Rain

Dean fidgeted, not really of what to say now that the introductions were done. He glanced nervously at Castiel, who was watching him with interest, his head tilting to one side slightly.   
  
"So Dean... I'm guessing you want to hear about outside?" Said Castiel finally

"I er..." Dean suddenly felt like shit. He'd never visited the angels before and yet here he was now, after a favor of sorts. 

"I'll make you a deal," Said Castiel, "You tell me about the rest of the base, about some people you know, and I will tell you about outside. Deal?"

"You want to hear about the base?" Asked Dean surprised "It's not very interesting" 

"It is to someone who has never seen it," Said Castiel

"Fair enough," Said Dean "What do you want to know?" He turned around saw a row of chairs stacked against the wall, he walked over to them and pulled a chair free of the stack, bringing it back to the window and sitting down. 

Castiel copied him, pulling up a chair and sitting "Everything, but we will take turns. A question each? Sound fair?" 

Dean nodded but didn't speak, so Castiel asked the first question. 

"How many people live in the base?" He asked watching Dean

"I don't know the exact number, somewhere around four thousand I think" Said Dean casually. Castiel stared at him, there were four thousand people behind this window that he'd never met, in his whole life he'd probably met around fifty people and twenty-nine of those were the other angels he lived with... He was stunned. 

"What was it like outside?" Asked Dean 

"That's a very vague question," Said Castiel "I guess the things that spring to mind though, would be the color, the noises, and the smells. Everything was so colorful, the trees were very green and the sky changed from sunny and blue to dark and angry, black. The clouds would open and shower us in rain and the sound of the rain bouncing off the trees... It was like the world was singing. I think I miss the rain most. The showers here are all high pressure to the point that they hurt if you stand under them for too long. But the rain was cool and mostly gentle, and everything looked so fresh afterward, you could smell it in the grass, you could smell nature" 

Dean had clung on to every word Castiel had spoken and had listened with a dreamy expression on his face when Castiel seemed to finish Dean said: "Do you mind if I write some of this down? I want to tell my brother" 

Castiel shrugged and watched as Dean pulled a notepad and pencil from his pocket "Sure"

Dean made a few notes of what Castiel had said and looked up "Thanks, your turn?"

Castiel thought, he had had a question but then Dean had said something and he changed his mind "What's your brother's name?" 

"Sam," Said Dean, then he decided to add a little more "He's my younger brother, sometimes he can be a pain in the backside, but he's the only family I have left and I would die for him" Castiel nodded "What happened the first day you got outside?" 

Castiel stiffened, remembering...

***

Thirty-Two days ago.

The angels were lined up by the huge metal door. Waiting for it to open, each loaded down with a couple of days worth of food and water. A few large plastic sheets between them to make a shelter with, a first aid kit and some other survival and hunting items. They were excited to go out, but also terrified. No one knew what would be waiting for them on the other side of those doors. No one knew what to expect. They were walking out into the unknown. 

Castiel swallowed loudly as a clank of metal told them the doors were trying to open, It had been many years since the doors had opened and they creaked and groaned as the metal lifted. The light burst in through the growing gap under the metal door and blinded them all momentarily. Holding a hand in front of his face and peering through a gap between two fingers with his eyes squinted, Castiel got his very first look at Outside. 

The ground in front of the door was grassy and overgrown and the angels slowly stumbled forward over it as their eyes adjusted to the natural light. The tree line to the forest was less than twenty feet away, but on the first day outside no one ventured into the forest, choosing to spend the first night right outside the door, that had now closed. 

*** 

"The first day was like what I've read about picnics, we all sat on the grass, we took our shoes off to feel the grass on our feet, we ate and talked and lit a fire to keep warm, it was pleasant" Said Castiel thinking "We were all stunned by the beauty of the world, we all just wanted one day to just... be"

"Sounds nice" Said Dean wistfully "I wish I could have seen it"

Castiel gave Dean a sad smile "The next day... things started to change, the first of us got sick, Gadreel, Alfie..." He sighed "I guess I just hope that someday, we will all be free and I hope that people will appreciate what we went through"

Dean frowned "What do you mean? Like going outside?" 

Castiel returned Dean's frown "No, I mean living behind this glass, cut off from everybody, being prodded and poked and tested"

"I thought you guys got the royal treatment?" Said Dean confused 

"What?" Laughed Castiel "Are you serious?"

"We were told that you guys get special care because you're so important to the future," Said Dean looking guilty 

"What special care?" 

"Three meals a day, hot showers, more books, the best doctors, your own rooms... stuff like that" 

Castiel blinked at Dean "We do get that... that's special treatment?" He asked gut sinking suddenly "How much do you get to eat? 

"We get one meal each a day and a snack, like an apple. Hot showers are a thing of dreams and books are rotated on a weekly basis, whether you finished it or not" Said, Dean.  

Castiel's heart sank "So, so... we're not prisoners" 

Dean looked shocked "What? No, you guys are like... Celebrities" 

"Like what?" 

"Oh yeah... Celebrities, the majority of the books we get to read are these old glossy pages full of stories about these people who were called celebrities. Usually living in these amazing looking houses and having like... everything. Some of the cars they had... If we ever get out of here, I want to find a car, I want to learn to drive" Said Dean thoughtfully

Castiel looked at Dean "So then, do you know why they sent us out at this time of year?" 

Dean looked up "Sure, the bugs" 

"The bugs?" Asked Castiel hopefully. 

"They wanted to give you the best chance, they picked a season when there wouldn't be too many insects about, some insects can spread illnesses and they didn't want sickness spreading from a bug bite" 

Castiel looked at Dean, the expression on his face was so sincere. Castiel suddenly felt so guilty, Gabriel had almost convinced him that they were prisoners, guinea pigs, but as far as this Dean was concerned that was the furthest thing from the truth, they were kept separate to be kept safe, they were fed well and received much better treatment than the general population of the base, as far as Dean was concerned... they represented hope.


	4. I Choose To Believe

"It isn't like that at all" Said Castiel again growing tired of repeating himself. 

Balthazar had finished his medical and had come back into the living area of the angels to see Castiel talking at the window to Dean. He'd walked over and introduced himself and they had talked to Dean together a little while longer before he'd explained he needed to get back to his brother, saying he would visit again soon if that would be alright. 

Now, Castiel and Balthazar were sitting on Gabriel's bed telling him about Dean. 

"We aren't prisoners - Dean told me the reason they picked this time of year to send us out was to limit the chance of us getting sick from bug bites. He mentioned too, that it was so we would have plenty of water when it rained" 

"He could have been told to say that" Said Gabriel "How do you know he wasn't sent to say those things, you know 'keep us happy'" 

Castiel paused, other than his gut instinct that Dean had been telling the truth he had no evidence that that was the case. "I don't. But I believed him" He looked at Balthazar hoping for some support. Balthazar shrugged.

"I don't know, he may have been telling the truth, he may not have" 

Gabriel looked triumphant "See? We don't know what's going on out there, we don't know what they are being told. You know why? Because we are trapped in here" 

"If you want to see us as trapped, go ahead. I am choosing to believe we are being kept safe" 

"Either way, trapped or safe... We are still being used" Snapped Gabriel sounding irritated. 

"We're helping" Countered Castiel "We could be the only shot for these people to live outside, they are just as trapped as we are and we get a lot more than they do; more food, hot water, better education, better doctors" 

"If you believe what one guy - a stranger tells you," Said Gabriel "Look Castiel, I just don't see things the way do. Haven't for a long time. They sent us out there, over half of us died... You could have died! And it would be their fault" 

"They gave us the means to survive. Out of all the babies being born, we were the ones selected to be given the chance to live outside, we were the ones who..."

"Were tested on as babies?" Said Gabriel sounding thoroughly disgusted "Yes, you're right, we had no choice, no options. They pumped us full of who the hell knows what, to try and save themselves" 

"You can see it as a curse, I choose to see it as a gift. And I came back of my own free will," Said Castiel standing up "No one forced you to return" He turned and walked out of Gabriel's room, annoyed. 

He walked down the hallway to his own room, sighing heavily as he dropped on to his bed. He wasn't sure why he trusted Dean's words, he only knew that he did... And wasn't it nicer this way? Rather than pinning for freedom like Gabe? Castiel believed he was doing the right thing when he came back, he believed that there would be a cure for the population of the base, that they would all get to see the sunshine, that they would all get, to one day, feel the rain on their skin. 

He stared up at the ceiling, thinking. He'd made a new friend today, hadn't he? That didn't happen very often. He wonders what Dean's room is like that he shares with his brother, he wonders what his brother is like, and if he would ever get to meet him and say something like 'Dean's told me a lot about you' - He hadn't, not really, but that was the sort of thing people said in the books that he'd read. Castiel wondered what the Celebrities of Dean's books were like, he wondered about the cars Dean had mentioned, of course, he'd read about cars, seen pictures. But he had a feeling that the old style automobiles in the stories he'd read were very different from the ones Dean had mentioned. 

He found himself coming up with a list of questions he wanted to ask Dean if he should return. He would ask to see one of the books Dean had spoken of. He wanted to know about the bees too, having forgotten to ask Meg how they were doing. He wanted to ask what other animals were kept at the base, he knew there were chickens at the very least, they had been given eggs every week for as long as Castiel could remember. He wonders if Dean would be able to bring a chicken to the window to show them. He allowed his brain to circle every topic he could think of about the base, before falling asleep, hands clutching his pillow tightly as he lay on his side, safe he told himself, not trapped. 

***

The next morning, however, everything changed. 

Gabriel and Balthazar rushed into Castiel's room and Balthazar grabbed his arm, shaking him awake. 

"It's happening," He said

"What is?" Asked Castiel rolling over and squinting at them 

"They just announced it," Said, Balthazar

"Announced what?" Asked Castiel sitting up and rubbing his eyes

"We are getting mixed" Said Gabriel in an 'i told you so manner' "They're sending in the female angels"


	5. Here Come The Girls

"Thirty new angels," Said Balthazar looking with uncertainty at Castiel "Moving into our block" 

"That doesn't mean that they want us to..." Began Castiel

"What else could it mean?" Snapped Gabriel cutting across him "Look, I'm all for meeting some ladies... Trust me, one can only look at that picture of the naked lady in that 'knowing the human body' book they gave us so many times before it starts to lose its sparkle, but this?"

"What did they say on the announcement?" Asked Castiel looking from Gabriel to Balthazar "What were their exact words?" 

"Just that the next generation of angels would be moving in here, that we would be the first mixed gender group," Said Balthazar scratching his neck. 

"You know what they've done, don't you?" Asked Gabe "They've weeded us. Sent us outside to see who could survive and now they want to breed us" 

Castiel wrinkled his nose "No, no. I don't believe that" 

"Why else would they mix us? Why now?" 

Castiel frowned before saying "Because we've just lost eighteen people? It could be a space or energy saving thing... It could be that they just want us to meet new people, maybe they're going to send the next group out and want them to talk to us first so we can tell them which berries to avoid and things like that. It could be that yes - they are hoping some of us would find female partners, and have children - It doesn't necessarily mean they are going to force us to"

Balthazar seemed to relax slightly, he turned to Gabriel "Maybe he is right? They haven't said anything about forcing us to have relations with these women" 

"They haven't given any other reason for sending them in now, either" Snorted Gabriel 

"Until we know why they're coming, what's the point in worrying about it?" Said Castiel "Why not just be happy, we get to meet some new people?"

"Fine" Said Gabriel poutingly. 

"Good," Said Castiel standing up and walking to his door to look out over the main living area "When are they coming?" He asked 

"In two hours," Said Balthazar "Why?" 

"Because," Said Castiel turning his now serious expression on Balthazar and Gabriel "We need to make sure we are all on the same page, we need to get everyone together and talk about this"

Gabriel and Balthazar followed Castiel out of his room, standing behind him like bodyguards as he shouted down to the angels below "Group meeting, Now!" 

The other angels who had been talking about the impending visitors all turned to look at Castiel, an eerie silence falling over them. 

Castiel walked along the balcony, and slowly down the steps "We all know by now, that they are sending in a group of women, to live here with us. We don't know why yet, but let's make one thing clear, they are people, not gifts. They are not being given to us, they are just sharing this space with us. So we shall treat them with respect" 

There was a general murmuring of agreement. 

"So I think it would be a good idea to show them that they will be safe here with us. I think we should all move to the upper floor of bedrooms, giving them all the rooms down here to do with as they please. Any objections?" Castiel glanced around, but no one raised a hand or spoke out "Okay then, let's get this place sorted" 

He nodded to another angel, Joshua and together they headed towards Joshua's room and Castiel began to help him pack up his things, as Gabriel and Balthazar split off to help others move their belongings. It wasn't a very big job, no one had a lot of personal possessions to call there own, books were shared and once read returned to the shelves in the main room.  

The moving around didn't take long, and afterward, Castiel had the other angels all get cleaned up "We want to make a good first impression" He had said, thinking too that keeping everyone busy was the best way to keep people calm about the drastic change that was coming. 

As it drew closer to the time that the women would be joining them Castiel himself grew nervous, they still hadn't been told why this was happening and he only hoped that he could keep a cool head and that everyone else could too. 

***

The outer glass doors opened and Castiel and the others watched as thirty women walked through the doors all looking nervous, before being sprayed with the sterilizing vapor, Castiel took a calming breath as the second set of doors opened...

As the women all filed in, Castiel stared at them. Meg was pretty, but she was his doctor and had made clear she was involved with someone from the base. Some of these women... Well, there was no other way to describe them, they were beautiful. Castiel couldn't stop staring at them, a pretty blonde girl caught his eye and then a taller slender brunette... He could feel Balthazar and Gabriel stood next to him, all just watching the newcomers walking in. Castiel had never seen so many women, he'd certainly never desired a woman before but as they all walked in, he couldn't help but notice their curves and smooth skin, so okay, he wasn't gay... Whenever he had masturbated, the thoughts that had helped him were always of men, once he'd even had a dream about Balthazar but he'd kept that to himself, he'd always assumed he was gay, but he had never mentioned this to anyone other than Balthazar and Gabriel. 

A redhead and a brunette walked over to them hand in hand, stopping in front of them. 

"My names Charlie, this is my girl Gilda," Said the firey red haired woman to Castiel, Gabe, and Balthazar as all three of the gawked at her "Look all you like, but keep your hands to yourselves or we're going to have problems, capiche?"

The three of them nodded dumbly, Castiel's sense's seeming to return to him first cleared his throat and said "I'm Castiel, this is Gabriel and Balthazar" 

Charlie smiled at them "So... We were told we'd be living here for a week. Then we're going outside. We were told that you guys would be able to help us, tell us about outside and what to expect" 

Castiel sighed, relaxing he glanced at Gabriel "Yeah, we'll tell you everything we know. Before we do though... We cleared all the ground floor rooms for you, we will all be sleeping up there" He said pointing up to the balcony and the line of rooms

"Thank you, Cas-stiel," Said Gilda giving him a nervous smile 

"Of course, we thought it would help you all settle to know you were all still together," Said Balthazar kindly "It was Castiel's idea" 

"Are you the leader then?" Asked Charlie eyeing Castiel 

"Well, no not really, we all work and live as a team," Said Castiel "And for as long as you're here, that includes you all" Charlie smiled at him, a warm genuine smile. 

"Thank you, really... We weren't sure what to expect" She said "But I think we're going to be just fine" She paused looking past Castiel "He a friend of yours?" She asked and Castiel, Gabriel, and Balthazar all turned to look where she was looking, seeing Dean standing at the window, looking in

Castiel smiled "He came back," He said "Excuse me," He said to Charlie and turned and walked over to the window, all thoughts of curvy women vanishing at the sight of those hypnotic green eyes. Balthazar and Gabriel exchanged a look as they watched Castiel walk away. 

Castiel reached the window and smiled at the man behind the glass "Dean, you came back" He said 

"Yeah" Dean looked behind him "If you're busy I can come back?"

Castiel turned and looked back at all the women and his friends "It's alright, we can talk for a minute"

Dean pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and began unfolding it "I just thought you might like to see this, my brother is quite a good drawer and he sketched a picture of the base cafeteria" He held the picture against the glass and Castiel looked at it, studying the rows of tables scribbled down and taking in the details on the kitchen area. 

"He just drew this?" Castiel asked looking at Dean

"Well I told him, you said you'd never seen the base... " Said Dean giving a small smile "He was going to do a few more if you like this one" 

"Thank you, Dean, and tell your brother, thank you too," Said Castiel "He is quite the artist" 

Dean took the piece of paper down from the window and folded it carefully before putting it back into his pocket, he looked behind Castiel at all the angels who were all talking and buzzing excitedly at meeting new people "I'll come back tomorrow" 

Castiel felt torn, he wanted to talk to Dean but he was itching to meet everyone, so he nodded "See you tomorrow then" 


	6. On The Other Side

Dean walks to the end of the corridor, glancing back to see Castiel walking away from the window and back toward his friends, his back to Dean. Disappointed at having to leave so soon, Dean sighs as his eyes glide over Castiel's body, a cheeky smirk playing on his lips as he thinks to himself - I hate to see him leave, but I love to watch him go. His eyes linger on Castiel's ass for a moment before the weight of someone else's stare causes him to look up, he see's a man standing next to Balthazar, an angel he hasn't met, watching him through narrowed eyes, his stare full of distrust and suspicion, it makes Dean feel uncomfortable and he turns and walks quickly away down the corridor. 

He found himself losing any interest he had in meeting some more of the angels, after the way that one had glared at him... What had he done to him? Or maybe it was to do with Castiel, maybe he and Castiel were together? Dean thought about it, it was the only thing that seemed to make sense. Had Castiel's boyfriend had just caught Dean checking out his ass? Dean would have to control his wandering eyes if he wanted to learn more about the outside world. 

"Or else that dude needs to chill" Said Dean quietly to himself as he reached his and Sam's room and closed the door behind himself "Not like I could do anything about it, even if I wanted to"

Dean flops down on to his bed, knowing Sam wouldn't be back for at least another hour, he shoves a hand under his pillow and pulls out his sketching pad and pencil. He felt pleased that Castiel had liked his drawing, even if he had said it was Sam who'd drawn it. He starts drawing another picture to show Castiel he felt bad that Castiel hadn't been able to see the rest of the base, and Dean had never been very good with words, so he'd compensated by being good with his hands, fixing machines and drawing. This time he draws a picture of the library deck, the library deck was guarded and you had to sign in and out to go in and read, normal story books were handed out and passed on every week, but the books that were kept in the library were all the medical ones, one's about the science of farming and survival guides, important books that were kept safe. He and Sam had spent a lot of time down there when they were younger, copying out books on farming that had gotten damaged, in order to keep the records safe. 

From memory, Dean drew the two large rows of bookshelves that were back to back and even drew in some of the paintings that he could remember that lined the outer wall of the library, he drew in the large desks where they'd copied down page after page, he drew in the large squishy armchair that was always taken by someone, he shaded in detail after detail until his wrist ached. Looking up only when the door opened and Sam wandered in. 

"Hey," He said looking at Dean "What are you drawing now?" 

"The library," Said Dean trying not to look embarrassed as he held up the page "What do you think?" 

Sam takes the page from Dean and looks at it "Looks good, did they like your other picture then?" 

"Yeah," Said Dean taking the page back "They're mixed now too" 

"Mixed?" 

"Yeah, the second group moved in with them" 

"Oh," Said Sam "So are they still sending them out? The women's group?" 

"I didn't ask, but I think so," Said Dean "I didn't stay long, I think they'd just arrived when I got there... Gotta think they would rather talk to their own, ya know?"

"Yeah, bet they were pretty excited to see some new people huh?" 

"Yeah, well... Wouldn't you be?" Said Dean looking up at Sam

"I guess. Why don't you write something for them?" Said Sam

"What do you mean?" 

"Write out some short stories for them, so they have something new to read or... Write them a newspaper of things that happen on this side of the base - it will help close the gap between 'them' and 'us'"

Dean looked at Sam stunned "That!" He pointed at Sam "Is a fucking genius idea. Castiel asked me if they were prisoners, you know? I don't think they are ever really told what's going on, they certainly haven't been told much about the rest of the base... If I can get people to write little letters, telling them how we really see them... They might feel a bit better about it" 

Sam looked sad for a moment "You could get the names of all those who died outside... and get people to sign it, like a memorial type thing, show them that they are appreciated. That we do care." 

"Yeah," Said Dean thoughtfully running a thumb over his chin, "I think Castiel mentioned a couple of names earlier, Alfie... and someone else" He clicked his fingers together as he remembered "Gadreel" 

"I'll do those tomorrow, for now. I'll copy out this book, it's not too long. I'll tape it up tonight and then they can read it tomorrow"

***

Dean walks up to the window, the corridors are dimly lit and there are only low lights on behind the window, the room looks empty beyond it, so Dean begins to tape his copied pages from the book he had been reading to the bottom of the window, so they could be read by the angels on the inside. 

A voice cutting through the darkness makes Dean jump "I had a feeling you'd be back" 

Dean looked into the unfriendly gaze of the man before him "Well you were right" He said calmly

"I'm Gabriel," Said the man stepping up closer to the window "And you're Dean" 

"Yeah," Said Dean completely unimpressed that this man knew his name "And?" 

"Why do you come here?"

"To talk to Castiel, to learn about the outside," Said Dean getting annoyed "Look, I'm sorry if you feel threatened or whatever but it's not like I can do anything about it even if I wanted to, Castiel is on your side of the glass" 

Gabriel frowned at Dean, thinking "What are you... Oh. You mean because I caught you checking him out earlier?"

Dean shrugged.

"I see... So you came here the first time, wanting to hear about outside, saw something you liked and came back?" Said Gabriel checking behind him for any sign of his friend before saying "You fancy him?" 

"I barely know the guy"

"Apparently you know him well enough to stare at his ass?" 

Dean chuckled "I appreciate the finer things sure - and the guy's ass is a work of art"  

Gabriel shook his head, lowering his voice he said "If your sweet on him, you should probably stop coming here. I mean, we are all clearly going to get paired off with the ladies eventually and even if we weren't, you're out there, we're in here"

Dean looked Gabriel straight in the eyes "What's your problem? If you're not with him, what do you care if I talk to Castiel?" 

"I care because he is my friend. I care because you are a stranger who could simply be telling him whatever the hell you think he want's to hear or what you've been told to say, I care because you never bothered visiting before we had something to offer you" Sneered Gabriel "And I care because I don't want him thinking he likes you and getting hurt" 

Biting back the question 'why, has he said anything' that had risen to his lips Dean considered Gabriel's words before replying "No one has told me what to say, we just talk, I'm sorry I never visited before, I don't like feeling like I am using him, but I like talking to him and we're becoming friends"

"You told him we aren't prisoners here," Said Gabriel looking at Dean as though he'd not heard a word he'd said

"You aren't"

Gabriel's eyebrows nearly disappeared and he fixed Dean with his most intense stare yet "So if we asked to leave, they'd just... let us go. I highly doubt that"

"Have you tried?" Asked Dean as he finished putting the last page up on the window "Seems to me if you don't ask... you won't get and if you do ask and they say no... Well at least then you'll know rather than guessing" Then Dean lowered his voice "But if you really do believe you're trapped here, and you really do want to get out..."

Gabriel moved closer to the glass listening intently.

"Well, If it was me and I thought I was trapped... and I knew the women were going to be going outside in a few days... I would offer to go with them as a guide, as protection..." Dean's eyes met Gabriels "I would offer to help show them how to make it outside... And then... If I didn't want to come back, who could stop me from leaving?" 

Gabriel moved his head back to look at Dean properly "You know Dean, I think I may have judged you too quickly" 

"I don't know how it is with the people 'in charge' Gabriel... But you aren't a prisoner as far as I am concerned"


	7. Guilt

Castiel is standing at the window reading the story that Dean chose to write out... Joseph Knight By James Robertson, he smiled at Dean's handwriting, it was a little scruffy in places and there were spelling errors that had been crossed out and re-written. The tiny blurb had caught Castiel's attention and he knew why Dean had chosen to write this story out, just from reading the first sentence... 

“No man is by nature the property of another.” So ran the argument in Knight v Wedderburn. Based on the true but little-known story of an 18th-century African brought to Scotland as a slave, Joseph Knight illuminates a court case which essentially found that slavery was not recognized by Scots law. In Robertson’s hands, historical facts are woven lightly around a powerful piece of fiction.

Castiel turned when he felt a presence behind him, he smiled as he saw Gabriel leaning over his shoulder "Hello Gabriel" 

"Hey Cas, you seeing him again today?" He asked

"I don't know, seems he has already been..." Said Castiel pointing to the pages taped on the outside of the window

"Nope, that was last night," Said Gabriel 

"You saw him?" Castiel turned fully to look at Gabriel, who nodded "Did you speak to him?" 

"I did" 

"What did he say?" 

"I'm not sure you want to know" Said Gabriel eyes narrowing

Castiel frowned "Why? Tell me what he said, Gabe"

"He told me how he would escape... If he were in here" 

"WHAT?" Castiel looked at Gabriel in shock

Gabriel nodded "Interesting, isn't it? That a man who claims to believe we aren't prisoners... Had an escape plan thought up for if he were in here..."

Castiel fixed Gabriel with a hard stare "What, exactly did he say" 

"He said - if he were me, he would volunteer to go out with the new group - you know, the ladies, as a guide. Claim that he would help them, protect them and such... and then not come back" 

Castiel shook his head "Why would he say that..." 

"Isn't it obvious... He feels sorry for us. He knows we're trapped in here" Said Gabriel watching Castiel's reaction closely "He knows I know this too and I told him I wanted to leave when we were outside, that I didn't want to be here... And he told me how'd he'd get out - if he were me. He isn't here because he likes you Castiel, he comes here because he pity's you, all of us. Why else would he do things like this" Said Gabriel pointing to the pages "It's guilt" Gabriel shrugs and walks away before Castiel can even think of a response. 

Castiel blinks... Confused. He turns back to the window and his eyes fall on the line 'No man is by nature the property of another' he'd read it the first time, taking it to mean - That Dean did not believe Castiel and the others were prisoners but now... He thinks about the 'nature' part - he and the other angels... Were modified. They were science experiments - did Dean really mean - that they weren't natural and that they did in fact 'belong' to the base, rather than themselves... 

He turned away from the window, walking away from it numbly, thinking. He looked up and noticed the blonde girl who'd moved in yesterday, Jo. He walks over to her, giving her a friendly smile. 

"Hey... It's Jo isn't it?" He asked

She nods "Yeah" 

"How are you finding it, staying here?" 

"Everyone has been very nice... It was scary at first - but honestly, now I'm happy we came here, meeting new people and getting a chance to learn a bit about the outside world before we go out" 

"I'm glad you don't feel scared, no one here would hurt you" He smiled at her, taking in her pretty face, her slim figure "Are you nervous about going out?" 

"Of course," She said "After hearing what happened to some of your original group, it's terrifying, but - I am grateful to have been able to talk to some of you guys - I've learned a lot which could really help out there... I'm sorry by the way, I know you lost friends" 

"If their deaths can help keep you and others alive... It's not in vain" Said Castiel sadly "I hope you get a chance to appreciate how beautiful out there it is too" 

"Tell me," Said Jo sitting down and patting the chair next to her, so Castiel sat. He talked about the sky, how it changed at night and you could see hundreds of stars, he talked about the flowers - all their different shapes and colors. He talked about hearing birds singing. He told her about how the rain felt and how the grass smelt when it stopped... And Jo sat, listening and occasionally asking questions. 

"Do you..." She paused, Castiel gave her an expectant smile so she went on "Do you miss it?" She asked as though it was wrong to ask because he'd lost friends out there.

"I do" Said Castiel "It was hard, people died. But... it was also wonderful, beautiful..." Castiel thought for a moment and then said something he'd held back from saying to Dean "There was so much space, so much air... I was free" 

Above the table where Jo and Castiel were sat, Gabriel was leaning over the railing, his arms crossed in front of him... Listening to their conversation. At Castiel's last words, a small smirk lit up his face and he moved away, walking back to his room. 

***

Dean had spent all day get people to sign the memorial notice for the fallen angels... Over three hundred signatures later, he walked through the halls of the base towards the window, he grabbed more signatures from people he passed by on the way too. Reaching the window he looked in - he saw a few angels, but not Castiel. He managed to catch Balthazar's eye and smiled when he walked up to him.

"Hello, Dean," Said Balthazar smiling back at him "I take it, this" He pointed to the story taped up on the window "Was you?" 

"Yeah, did you like it?" Asked Dean hopefully 

"I did. Thank you for doing that" Said Balthazar "Did you want to speak to Castiel?" 

"Yeah, please"

Balthazar nodded "Wait here, I'll tell him you're here" Balthazar turned around to go and get Castiel, but stopped in his tracks, Dean looked beyond him and saw why, Castiel was coming out of Jo's room, with Jo "Ah, there he is" Balthazar walked over to Castiel and said something to him that Dean couldn't hear. Castiel looked up towards the window, he smiled at the girl he was with and walked over to Dean. 

Dean gave him a friendly smile, that turned into a frown when he saw the look on Castiel's face... 

"What's wrong?" He asked

When Castiel reached the window, he finally spoke "Dean. Tell me honestly, did you tell Gabriel how you would escape if you were in here?" 

 

 

 


	8. We Thank You, We Remember

Dean stares at Castiel "I... Yeah. But it's not like how it sounds - Gabriel was adamant that he wanted to leave, I told him he could just ask, he didn't think that he would be allowed and that's when I said if he really wanted to leave and didn't believe he would be allowed he could just offer to guide the girl group. We were just talking, it wasn't like we were conspiring or anything"

Castiel is looking down at the floor as Dean speaks, letting himself process what Dean is saying, he knows Gabriel, he knows he doesn't trust Dean - maybe this was just some kind of misunderstanding, but he also thinks Gabriel would likely follow Dean's plan now. Castiel finally looks up at Dean, he can see him almost holding his breath as he waits for Cas' reaction.

"Thank you for being honest with me Dean, I believe that you didn't mean it in the way it sounded, but - I have a feeling the damage is already done" Castiel sighed "If Gabriel leaves with the next group - I don't think he would come back. He could get stuck outside, alone"

"He wouldn't really go though, would he? I mean it's just a dream, right? Wishful thinking or something" 

"You said yourself - he is adamant," Said Castiel 

"Yeah, but there's a difference between wanting to know you could do something - and actually doing it," Said Dean "I just thought - he needed to know he could get out if he really wanted to" 

Castiel didn't answer, Dean could almost see the cogs turning in his head "What?" He asked after a while.

Castiel looked at him "Just thinking, I may have an idea" Castiel took a deep breath "Anyway, I can't do anything about it right now... How are you?"

Dean frowned for a moment, wanting to ask what Castiel's idea was, but he knew Castiel would have told him if he wanted to, so he let it go and held up the papers he had collected the signatures on "I wanted you guys to see this, this is only from today, I'm sure there would be more"

Castiel tried to focus on the paper so he could read it, his eyes widen as he reads the names of his dead friends... He looks at the top of the page and read's 'We remember with heartfelt gratitude the sacrifices of those who lost their lives, the angels who perished to give humanity a chance at freedom', then his eyes skate over the names, the scribbled messages of thanks, the tiny prayers written out on the page. He blinks away a salty tear as Dean moves the paper to reveal two more pages of messages. Dean pulls a roll of tape from his pocket and tapes the papers to the window, removing the story he had taped up the day before. 

Castiel reads through dozens of messages, then looks up to Dean "You did this?"

Dean nodded "Everyone wanted you all to know, we do care, we are grateful and we will never forget"  

Castiel couldn't find any words, he doubted he could even speak - if he knew what to say, he was totally overwhelmed by the gesture. Castiel rubbed his hands over his face. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Said Dean reading him wrong

"No, no... it's not that... I just" Castiel sighed "Thank you"

Dean smiled sympathetically "It's alright Cas"

 

***

Two hours later and Dean opens the door to his and Sam's room. Sam is sleeping on his bed and Dean... can't resist. He tiptoes into the room, standing right behind his brother, gets his face about a foot away from Sam and smirks as he takes a deep breath. 

His hands come up to cup his mouth and he shouts "Rrrraaaaaaaa" 

Sam startles awake and falls off the bed, the look of sheer panic on his face changing swiftly to rage as he turns and see's Dean doubled over in laughter, tears streaming down his face.

"JERK" Snorted Sam unhappily "And what the hell Dean, seriously rrraaa?"

"Well I figured I was a bit old for 'boo' and you still shit yourself - totally worth it. Bitch" 

Sam rolled his eyes and got up off the floor, sitting himself back on the bed "You're in a good mood?"

Dean pulled a face "Problem?" 

"No... Just an observation" Said Sam eye's narrowing at his brother "You were at the window again weren't you?" 

"Yeah, I put up that memorial list thing," Said Dean 

"Oh," Sam looked serious "How'd they take it?" 

"Well, I mean - a few people got upset, but I think it was the... happy kind of sad... If that makes sense like, they were glad to know we cared" 

"Yeah, sure," Said Sam "I get what you mean"

"Cas seemed to appreciate it," Said Dean dreamily, missing the look on Sam's face completely as he got into his own bed and lay down.

"You talk about Cas a lot" Said Sam trying to sound casual

"So?"

"Well, he's the only one you've really mentioned more than once by name, is he the only one you really talk to or is he... your favorite?" 

Dean sat up in bed and peered at Sam "Cas is cool... Not like Gabriel - who's a bit of a dick" Sam noted Dean's obvious attempt to dodge the question. He sat on his bed, letting Dean's rant about some guy named Gabriel - who'd apparently been telling other angels that Dean's a dick or something along those lines - wash over him as he worried silently about how attached Dean seemed to be becoming to this one man, Castiel - this completely unobtainable angel. 

 


	9. For The Greater Good

Castiel smiled at Jo as he took a seat next to her after Dean had left. 

"Who was that?" She asked 

"Dean," Said Castiel "A friend, you're welcome to come over next time, meet him. If you want?" 

Jo smiled "Sure he doesn't just want to talk to you?" 

Castiel smile frowned "No? Why" 

"Oh, nothing," Said Jo "That memorial list thing was a nice idea. Thoughtful" 

"Yes, it was," Said Castiel "Over three hundred people signed it"

"Three hundred out of - what was it you said, four thousand? Shows how much they really care" Sneered Gabriel as he walked over "So three thousand, seven hundred didn't sign it..."

"Shut up Gabriel," Said Castiel - losing patience and standing up to face Gabriel with anger on his face "I'm sick of your complaining. Dean collected over three hundred signatures in a few hours, this was just in one day. He did it as a gesture of thanks. I'm fed up of listening to you spouting shit constantly... You don't trust Dean, you don't like it here, they don't care about us. Enough! You want to be miserable - go ahead. But I refuse to follow your defeatist attitude into darkness. I don't want to fucking hear it anymore" 

Gabriel stood in shock looking at Castiel, he'd never snapped like this before. Blinking Gabriel looked down at the floor "Sorry" He muttered before slinking away to his room, to sulk. 

Castiel casts an exasperated look towards Jo, who shrugs.

"I'm just sick of it, he keeps getting in my head and making me question things. Things that I was perfectly happy to leave alone. He see's deceit and chains, where I see trust and hope... I can't keep letting him... bring everyone down around him" 

"Hey, I get it... The moral is important. I'm not judging" Said Jo, looking up to see Bela and Balthazar walking over, Balthazar watching a moody Gabriel disappear into his room.

"What was that about?" Asked Balthazar

Castiel shook his head "I told Gabriel to stop moaning all the time" 

Balthazar nodded "Good. He was getting a bit much with it" 

"He was going on about the list" Said Castiel pointing to the window 

"Saying what?" Frowned Balthazar "I thought that was very kind" 

"Same" Said Jo nodding 

"He said that it basically showed how many people didn't 'care'" 

"Such a pessimist,"  Said Balthazar rolling his eyes 

"So that's when I told him I didn't want to hear it anymore," Said Castiel "He needs to have more faith" 

***

Castiel goes to bed that night, he feels worried. Does Gabriel want to go out with the women? Guilt builds in him as he thinks over his little outburst at his friend earlier, probably not the best timing for him to make Gabriel feel like his friends are sick of him... He isn't, he loves Gabriel - but he has to keep his and the angels head above the water if everyone were to listen to Gabriel... What would happen? Nothing good. He has to stop it. 

But then he thinks about the idea of the women having a guide - if he could trust that Gabriel was going to go out to help them and return with them - he'd be all for it. The idea that an angel who had already been out, went out again with the women, was a good one. It would give the women a much greater chance at survival. The more that come back... The better for everyone. 

He gets up out of his bed and creeps downstairs silently, walking over to the test room door. He presses the buzzer, a red light flashes... He see's Meg on the other side of the glass doors looking at him questioningly before nodding and opening the first door... Castiel takes a deep breath, determined he walks through and the door closes behind him.

***

The next morning Castiel walks slowly up the steps to Gabriel's room and knocks on the doorframe.

"What?" Comes Gabriel's moody morning voice 

"It's Cas"

"What do you want?" 

"To come in?" 

"Yeah, whatever. Come in"

"Good morning," Said Castiel as he entered Gabriel's room. 

"Is it? Oh wait - I'm sorry I forgot I have to be all sunshine and rainbows - even though we're stuck in here" 

"I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday Gabriel, but I really need you to stop bringing everyone down" Said Castiel sitting on the end of Gabriel's bed "Can you promise me you'll try?"

"Why bother, you'll just shut me up again if I get out of line, right?" 

"I won't always be able to stop you upsetting people" 

"Sure you will, you're the boss, right? Leader? What you say goes now? Huh?" Said Gabriel bitterly  

"No Gabriel, you don't understand - I won't always be here. I have volunteered to be the guide for the girl's group when they go out" 


	10. Surprised

"What!?" Gabriel's eyes widen as he sat up straight on the bed staring at Castiel "Why?"

"Because I actually care about them making it back - if you volunteered, I'd think you were doing it for yourself. To try and leave. Not to help them. Well I'm sorry but If you want to leave - ask to leave" Said Castiel firmly

"Bullshit," Said Gabriel "You've done this so I can't go"

"I don't want you to leave Gabriel - I make no secret of it, but this is about thirty lives, thirty women - not you. I can't stop you from asking to leave" 

"I will then," Said, Gabriel, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"That is your choice," Said Castiel calmly "As this is mine"

"I'll do it. I'll ask to leave" Said Gabriel

"Good for you, be brave, be bold. Ask for what you want" Said Castiel looking at Gabriel "I will miss you if you do leave Gabriel"

"No you won't," Said Gabriel grumpily "You'll probably be happy you don't have to listen to me bitch anymore" 

Castiel sighed heavily, shaking his head "I want you to be happy, I just... I don't think you will find it being out there alone. And if we do get out and see you again, I think you will regret leaving. I think you feel alone in here, cut off from the general population you claim to hate so much, but if everyone gets outside and you left early - I think then... you would feel even more alone than ever" 

Gabriel stared at Castiel with a defiant look on his face, but he made no argument. 

"I just think you need to have a little more faith, stop seeing every set back as a failure... After all, failure is on the same path as success - you just have to keep going" Castiel gave Gabriel a sad smile before rising up from the edge of the bed

"What about Dean?" Asked Gabriel suddenly 

Castiel stopped and turned back to him "What about Dean?" 

"Have you told him you're leaving yet?"

"No?" Asked Castiel "So?"

"I just wonder how your new friend will take it, that your using his idea to get out," Said Gabriel shrugging "What is the deal with him anyway?" 

"He is... A friend. He is a very kind man. You should give him a chance, you might be surprised" Said Castiel before he turned and walked out of Gabriel's room. 

***

As Castiel walked out of Gabriel's room he walked straight into Balthazar...

"You're leaving?" Asked Balthazar eyes wide

Castiel sighed "I want to help them, it makes sense for someone who has already been out there and survived to go with them, I can show them where we camped, where we got our water from - which berries to avoid, I can help them hunt..."

"But... You're coming back right?" Asked Balthazar cautiously 

"Of course," Said Castiel "Well... I hope so" 

Balthazar nodded slowly before pulling Castiel into a tight hug "Make sure you do, we need you" He said squeezing his friend "And Castiel..." Balthazar pulled back from Cas to look into his face "I know you're going out there to help them, but I wonder if I could ask you..." 

"What?" 

"Will you keep an eye on Bela?" Said Balthazar blushing slightly 

Castiel's eyebrows almost disappeared into his hair and he smiled at his friend, lowering his voice "You and Bela?" 

"Well... No, not yet... but someday - I hope" Smiled Balthazar sheepishly 

"Does she know?" Asked Castiel

"I think so, me kissing her last night should have clued her in"

"Wow. That's huge, I will look out for her. For all of them. It's going to be better, they're much better prepared than we were" Said Castiel nodding to himself "It will be better" 

*** 

The morning was taken up by Castiel telling the female angel's he would be joining them on there trip out into the world. He was thanked over and over by thirty different women, they were all happy to have someone with a little experience going out with them. 

He sat on a chair telling them about his group's experiences and showing them, in diagram's how they would make traps to hunt rabbits and squirrels. He talked to them about the importance of teamwork, working together for the greater good. 

It was early afternoon when he finally took a break, getting something to eat and read a book on first aid - he'd read it before, but knowing he was going to be going out again, he'd decided to read it again. He wanted it fresh in his mind. 

Jo came over and sat beside him "Will you read it out loud?" She asked "I don't want to take it from you, but I think the more of us that know how to help if someone gets hurt - the better" 

As Castiel began to read out loud more and more of the group came and sat with him to listen... So he turned back to the beginning of the book and read it from the start.

"When journeying into the wilderness it is important to carry a first aid kit. A good diet, cleanliness and appropriate clothing will lower the risk of harmful situations. Disease, infection and often, insect bites can be avoided when maintaining a proper diet. It is important to bathe daily but if this is not possible be sure to wash your hands frequently. Soap can be made using ashes and animal fat or by boiling the inner bark of a pine tree. Construct a toothbrush by mashing the end of a green twig. When setting out on your journey remember to pack a wide range of clothing and extra footwear..." 

His voice was calm and the others listened to him, in quiet awe. Even Gabriel popped his head out of his room, unseen to peer over the railings and watch, Castiel truly looked like a shepherd, ready to guide his flock. It was quite a sight, all the angels circled around him, calmly. 

***

Balthazar looked up from where he was sat, next to Bela, he looked over at the window, meeting Dean's eyes. How long had he been there, just watching? Getting up and making his way over to him Balthazar smiled.

"Hello again Dean," He said

"Hey Balthazar," Said Dean "What's going on?"

Balthazar took a deep breath, turning back to look at Castiel as he spoke "Castiel has volunteered to be a guide for the women's group. There going out in a couple of days and he is reading a first aid book to them, preparing"

Dean swallowed, shock almost choking him for a moment "He's going out again?" He turned to look at where Castiel was sat, watching his lips move, but unable to hear his words... Cas was leaving, he was doing what Dean had suggested to Gabriel... Dean looked at him, panic rising up like bile... Did Castiel plan on coming back?


	11. Count Down

"What was that?" Asked Jo in a hushed voice, her face pale and her eyes widening with fear, as her hands tremble slightly.

Castiel turned to face her, equaling her fear in his own expression, his voice is barely above as a whisper as he says... "We're being hunted..." He pauses for a second as a twig snaps somewhere close behind them, then shouts out so loud he sends dozens of birds flying from the trees around them "RUN"  

 

***

72 hours earlier 

 

Dean stared in through the window, watching Castiel read. He feels as though he has swallowed an ice cube, a stabbing cold twisting in his stomach unpleasantly. Without another word, he turns. As he walks back to his room, he try's to understand why he is reacting the way he is. He feels hurt - almost as if it's a betrayal, he feels sad, worried... scared. He trudges slowly away from the window and back towards his own room. 

He opens the door and steps inside, jumping slightly when he see's Sam is there. 

"You're back early?" Says Dean 

"Yeah. I am, finished early for once" Sam smiled but then saw Dean's face and stopped "What's up?" 

"Cas volunteered to be a guide for the women's group..." Said Dean "He's going back out" 

"Oh." Said, Sam, "Well it's only thirty days. You'll see him when he comes back" 

Dean's face twitched "You mean if he comes back. A lot didn't last time" 

"Yeah, but he did. He made it back once, no reason to believe he can't do it again" 

"I guess" Said Dean sounding unconvinced 

"What are you doing back here, if he is leaving in a couple of days? Why don't you go and see him before he goes, in fact," Said Sam standing up "I'll come too, I'd like to meet him..." 

"Really?" Asked Dean frowning, then shrugs "Okay" 

***

Castiel walked over to the window when he saw Dean and the taller man stood there.   

"Hello Dean" Smiled Castiel 

"Hey Cas, this is my brother. Sam" Said, Dean. 

Castiel turned to Sam "Hello Sam, It's nice to meet you" 

"Hey, I've heard a lot about you. I wanted to come and thank you personally for everything you've done, are doing..."

Castiel smiled "You're welcome. Hopefully some good will come of it all" 

Dean looked at Castiel "So I heard that you're leaving?" 

"Oh..." Said Castiel "I was going to tell you about that" 

"Yeah, well Balthazar beat you to it. It's not like Gabriel though, right? I mean, you're coming back?" 

"Yes. I'm doing it to help them" Said Castiel looking back at the group of women who were all sat around a table talking "To keep them safe"

"When do you go?" Asked Dean

"The day after tomorrow," Said Castiel, there seemed to be a sadness in Dean's eyes that Castiel wished he could wipe away "Back in thirty days" 

"Well, I hope it goes okay out there, for everyone," Said Dean, he could feel his eyes prickling and didn't want Castiel to see it "I have to go, but I'll be back tomorrow" He smiled "Meet you back at the room Sammy" 

Sam frowned but nodded... And he and Castiel watched as Dean turned and hurried away. 

"Is... Is he alright?" Asked Castiel 

"I think he is worried about you. Dean's told me a lot about you, I wanted to come and meet you anyway, but when he told me you had volunteered to go out again, I wanted to come and wish you good luck," Said Sam

"Thank you, Sam. Dean has told us about you too... and the base, the drawings are so detailed, we greatly appreciate them," Said Castiel smiling at Sam 

"Yeah Dean's quite the artist" Smiled Sam "Like's to get in every detail" 

Castiel frowned slightly but quickly schooled his expression and said nothing... So Dean drew the pictures? Why had he said that Sam had?

 


	12. Window Cleaner

The cold air stung against their face's as they ran, through the trees, getting scratched as they sped through thorny bushes. Jo tripped but Castiel caught her arm balancing her before she fell, they raced on. Taking turns at looking back, catching blurred glances of what was chasing them.  

Castiel spotted a tree with a sturdy looking branch, he pointed towards it and they changed direction. Coming to a halt in front of the base of the tree, Castiel cupped his hands together quickly.

"Climb" He instructed Jo "Get up into the tree where you can't be reached, hurry!" 

Jo put one foot in Castiel's hands and grabbed on to the tree lifting herself up, she grabbed at the branch and hauled herself up, before turning back to see Castiel trying to climb up, behind her... She held out a hand to him...

Then she saw it, teeth bared and dripping slightly, eyes pinpoint focused on Castiel, the fur on its back sticking up in threat, it's snarling making her shake... 

Castiel grabbed her hand, just as sharp teeth found his ankle and sunk in deeply... 

***

71 hours earlier 

Castiel called Balthazar, Bela, and Jo over to the window, introducing them to Sam. 

"It's nice to meet you," Said Sam smiling at them all.

"So you're Dean's brother?" Asked Balthazar returning Sam's smile "Your brother is a very thoughtful man"

"Yeah, he is" Said Sam "He's always taken care of me" 

Castiel smiled, it didn't surprise him. The way Dean had spoken of his brother, he knew Sam was the most important thing in Dean's life. He felt a rush of fondness for Dean, he'd drawn those pictures, and he was so shy - he hadn't even taken credit for them. He was sweet and caring, thoughtful, kind... And he seemed to have raised Sam the same way, thought Castiel as they listened to Sam talk for a few minutes about the gratitude of the people of the base. 

***

 

As Dean walked away from the window, away from Sam, away from Castiel he felt a dark cloud descend on his skin, like a cold blanket covering him and trapping his worrying thoughts so close to him, so close there was no escaping them. Whichever way he turned a new worry that clenched at his heart found him, would Castiel leave by choice? Would something happen to him? Would he come back - with a girlfriend?

He'd be the only man, out in the world with a group of thirty women... It was totally plausible to think, that maybe one of them would make a move on Castiel, maybe one that was afraid - seeking comfort. Dean suddenly had an image in his head of Castiel holding a woman close to him, hugging her tightly - touching her - she'd tilt her head slightly, looking up at him through tears... and they would kiss, and hold each other - and Castiel would whisper to her that everything was going to be alright. That was the moment, right there - that Dean realized he was in trouble. The moment he pictured Castiel with someone, anyone else - it made him gag. His throat felt hot like he wanted to throw up... What if he lost Castiel forever, and he'd only just realized his deepening feelings for him. 

He'd known from the moment he saw Castiel - that he was attractive. That was clear to anyone. But he'd spent the last few nights visiting him at the window, talking about everything and nothing, getting to know him, knowing how full of life and hope he was. He made Dean hope, he made Dean believe... He made Dean dream, about more than just getting outside - but about having him there to share it with. 

 

61 hours earlier

Dean lay awake in his bed, thinking as he listens to Sam snoring lightly. Ok... So he had a crush on an angel... Because in classic Dean style - he wanted what he couldn't have - to be able to go outside, to learn to drive and have a car - and now... to be with an angel. 

He lay there wondering if Castiel liked him, if he'd ever thought about him in the same way Dean was thinking about him now. Dean caught himself growing hard beneath his boxers as he imagined lying on the grass outside the base, with Castiel, looking up at the stars, and then turning and kissing him... 

He spent the next hour trying to think of a way to work out if Castiel liked him. When he finally had a plan, he smiled to himself... It was going to be a little scary, a little silly - but if Castiel did like him, he'd know. 

34 hours earlier

Dean walks up to the window feeling nervous, he places the bucket of warm soapy water on the floor next to the window thinking this could go right, or this could go very wrong. But it was a risk he was willing to take. He unzipped his jacket and threw it on the chair behind him, some of the female angel's had already spotted him and were watching him from the corners of their eyes as he slowly pulls his top over his head, dropping it on to the chair behind him on top of his jacket. He grabs the bucket of soapy water and rings out the sponge - he may or may not deliberately let some of the water splash his bare chest - he avoids looking beyond the window - this must seem totally normal. Not as though he is trying to get noticed, not as though he wants to see if Castiel reacts to his exposed chest. 

He steps in front of the window, feeling eyes on him as he begins to wash the glass, it wasn't until the sponge hit the surface of the window that he realized just how dusty it really was, making a long wipe across the middle of the glass - he begins. Humming to himself to calm his nerves... 

Out of the corner of his eye - he see's Castiel. Who has his back turned to him until Jo whispers something to him that Dean can't hear - and Castiel turns around to see a topless, slightly wet and soapy Dean sponging the window...

Dean suppresses a smile at the look on Castiel's face, he see's his lips part slightly, see's his eyes widen as they rake over his body. Suddenly he feels a little more confident. His movements become slightly more exaggerated as he scrubs at the window, before turning and rather than crouching down to the bucket, bends his entire body over, giving anyone who is watching the first-rate view of Dean's ass in those - slightly too tight worn blue jeans. 

When he turns back around and straightens up - Dean blinks back his surprise to see not only Castiel watching him - but almost every single female angel in the room beyond the window, he can practically hear the heart rates of all those women pick up... But it's Castiel's heart he is interested in, and no one else's. 

 


	13. I Wish You'd Stay

"My, my Dean-o. What an obvious and desperate grab for Castiel's attention" Dean's eyes narrowed as Gabriel approached the window "It's quite disturbing - honestly"

"Shut up Gabriel" Snapped Dean, suddenly feeling his cheeks burn.

"Why don't you come in here and make me? Oh... That's right... You can't. Cause you're stuck out there and I'm stuck in here. Just. Like. Cas" 

Dean clenched his jaw, annoyed. 

"Oh, I'm sorry - did you forget that little fact? Castiel is in here, you're out there, you can't get to him, he can't get to you... So this... needless display of flesh - is not only pointless, but it's also... kind of embarrassing" Sneered Gabriel, his irritating smirk making Dean's blood boil "Even if he could be interested in the likes of you - Cas isn't just going to swoon over some freckled skin - he is deep, smart. Caring, generous, honest... Something I'm not sure you could handle"

"Do you even know the meaning of the word honesty Gabriel - you played me. You told Castiel that I'd told you how to escape" 

"You did" 

"Not how you made it sound and you know it" 

Gabriel lifts and drops his shoulders in a manner that clearly said 'look at all the fucks I give'. 

"And now Castiel is going out," Said Dean a fraction quieter and glancing past Gabriel to where Castiel was.

"Yes," Said Gabriel - his eyes darkening. He too glanced back at his friend before turning to Dean "If anything happens to him out there... You know it's your fault" 

"My fault?" Said Dean in disbelief "If you hadn't told him what I said to you, he'd never have volunteered. This is on you, Gabriel. One hundred percent your fault. If anything happens to him out there - you will always know it was just because you were being a dick" 

Dean glared at Gabriel and Gabriel glared right back - both holding in that they really blamed themselves, for the fact that Castiel would be leaving the base again, soon. 

Castiel walked up at that moment, looking from Gabriel to Dean "Am I interrupting something?" He asked frowning between them

"No" Said Gabriel snapping out of the staring match first "No, he's all yours... Apparently" He added with malice as he began to walk away. 

Dean noticed the frown deepen on Castiel's face before he tilted his head after Gabriel "He's not happy with me" 

"He's a dick" Said Dean more harshly than he'd intended. 

"He can be" Said Castiel before turning to face Dean full-on "But he is also one of my best friends, I've known him my entire life, what was it you said about Sam - He can be a pain in your ass - but he is family and you would do anything for him" 

Dean looked down, guiltily "Sorry - He just..." 

"I know, he doesn't like you. It's hard to like someone who doesn't like you. So I don't blame you, but I would ask you not to insult him in front of me again" 

Dean nods - feeling like a child scolded by their favorite teacher. He suddenly seems to remember he is topless and steps back, turning around to grab his jacket "I won't, sorry. I get it"

"What are you doing?" Asked Castiel tilting his head as he watches Dean put his top back on

"I was cleaning all the scuff marks I'd made on the window - it was filthy anyway, but me taping pages up didn't help" Dean's rehearsed excuse came out with ease and he thanked himself for thinking of what to say if he got asked about it

"No... I mean... You missed a spot"

Dean turned sharply to look at Castiel who was smirking at him, he couldn't help but smile "Har har" 

Castiel smiled "I'm glad you came back, I thought you... Well after you left last time I wasn't sure I'd be seeing you again before I left" 

"I told you I'd come back,"  Said Dean "Might be a lousy window cleaner - but I keep my word"

"I'll come back too," Said Castiel the smile fading from his face 

"I understand why you're going" Said Dean before turning his head to look - maybe for the last time - into those haunting blue eyes "I just wish you'd stay" 

"I..." 

"I'll miss you, you know" Said Dean cutting across Castiel "Be safe, yeah?"

"I'll do my best" Smiled Castiel

***

The large grey she-wolfs teeth ripped right through the top of Castiel's boot and he shouted out as his flesh tore. His face contorting in pain... 

"Don't let go. Don't let go, I can pull you up, I can" Jo Shouted desperately as she saw the panic in Castiel's eyes... She also saw his mind whirring, a determined look taking over his face, she knew even before his hand started to slip - he was going to let her go... "DON'T" She cried as his hand slipped free. 

Castiel had made the split-second decision - He was not going to let anything happen to Jo, he was here to protect her... And that's what he intended to do, even if it cost him his life. He scrapped his face against the tree as the wolf pulled him down on to his belly, mud stinging in the scratches and cuts of his cheeks... He shouted out again as the wolf let go of his ankle to bite into his calf, it shook it's neck from side to side, with a mighty force shredding the muscle beneath his pants. 

He spat some dirt from his mouth and reached underneath himself for the knife he had in a pouch hooked on to his belt - his only hope. 


	14. Adrenaline

Castiel's fingers find and fumble at the pouch and finally pop open the popper button, he pulls the blade carefully from under him. The pain in his leg is excruciating and he wants nothing more than to pass out, but adrenaline and fear keep his eyes open and heart racing. He pulls his good leg in and then kicks back with as much force as he can muster into the wolfs face, feeling the awful pull on his leg as he forces the wolf to give up its grip on him. He hears a whining noise from the wolf and quickly rolls himself over on to his back, bringing the blade up to the top of his chest and holding it sharp edge pointed up and out. 

In the second of calm, he can feel hot thick blood coating his leg and soak into his pants, he can feel his face covered in mud and scratches, that sting and bleed, he can feel his heart hammering in his chest. _Thud, thud, thud._

A saliva dripping, snarling mouth, with sharp white and yellow teeth comes into view in front of him - this was it. Fight or die. Kill or be killed. He held the knife tightly and gritted his teeth as the wolf lunged forward, the nails on its feet piercing shallowly into Castiel's chest as it landed on him, making a move toward his throat. He pushed up with his blade as the wolf came down, the knife went wide... sticking into the wolfs shoulder, it hollowed out. As it lowered its head, Castiel looked into those big round golden eyes, his arm came up instinctively and as the wolf snapped at him, its teeth caught on his arm - better than his throat at least. 

 

Castiel was vaguely aware of Jo shouting something... And then large branch suddenly landed by his head, he grabbed it. Hitting the wolf around the head with it, with his free hand. When the wolf lunged again he shoved the branch into its mouth, with one hand on either side of the wolfs mouth he sharply twisted the branch to the left, he let go of one side and pulled the knife that was still stuck in the wolf out and drove it deeply into the side of the wolfs head... 

He pulled it out and thrust it in again, over and over, shouting out as the creature's body fell heavily on top of him, dead. 

Castiel takes a deep shuddering breath in, everything hurts, but he is alive - he won. He pushes the body of the wolf off him, checking over and over that the thing is actually dead. He slowly pushes himself up on his uninjured arm as Jo jumps out of the tree and rushes to his side.

"You did it" She cries throwing her arms around Castiel's neck and hugging him "I can't believe it"

Still shaking Castiel looks up at her "My leg... I need your belt" He says unbuckling his own and wrapping it tightly around his leg above the large bite. He tightens it and waits for Jo to pass him her belt... 

"Here," She says as she hands it to him 

"I need..." He looks around him "Get me one of those big leaves" 

Jo hurries to pull a couple of large waxy leaves from the plant Castiel had pointed to and passes them to him. She kneels down beside him. 

"I'm going to wrap the leaves around my leg," He says as he hoops the belt around his leg, still loose "Then you tighten the belt, and tie it ok?" 

"OK" She nods

Castiel puts the leaves to his bleeding wound, wincing at the sting, he looks up at Jo "Ready? Three... Two... One..." 

Jo pulls the belt tight, Castiel clenches his jaw and squeezes his eyes closed against the pain, groaning in pain behind his lips. Jo struggles to tie the belt as his leg starts to pull away. 

"Okay, okay. It's done" She says soothingly reaching a hand out to Castiel's shoulder "It's done" 

Castiel opens his eyes hissing at the pain of his leg.   

"Hows your arm?" 

"Better than my leg," Said Castiel "We need to get back to the camp, all the first aid stuff is there" 

"Let me find you something to help you walk" Jo gets up and grabs a large tree branch, snapping off all the twig bits until it resembles a staff "Here" 

"Wait, you need something else too. Something you can drag the wolf back with" Said Castiel 

***

Castiel limps along, holding onto the staff for support as he follows behind the dead body of the wolf, being dragged along the ground on top of a leafy branch, some of the twine-y branches have been tied around its legs to hold it in place and Jo is pulling it along behind her. 

As they made their way back to camp, Castiel could feel the adrenaline wearing off and the pain shooting through him, his face was a mess of sweat and dirt and blood, his arm was bleeding slightly, his leg was a chewed mess. His whole body ached and it was all he could do to keep hobbling and not give into the pain and drop down into the darkness.

They entered the camp - and suddenly he was surrounded by women, a dozen voices asking him - what happen, if he was ok, what he needs, did he want to sit down... He heard a few shocked gasps as the women saw the wolf.

He closed his eyes as hands wrapped around him, the staff falling to the floor as he was supported by at least three different women... 

He smiled weakly as he opened his eyes "We brought dinner..." He said pointing to the wolf

"You want to eat it?" Asked Bela looking at the bloodied body of the wolf on the ground

"Why not? It tried to eat me" Said Castiel wincing in pain as he was lowered to sit on a rock "It would be a waste not too" 

Bela nodded "Alright then... I'll" She grimaced "skin it"

"Do me a favor - keep the skin and er... bits. I'm going to need them" 

Bela frowned at him "What the hell for?" 

"Maggots" 


	15. Feast On The Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A graphic description of an animal being skinned.

A woman named Madison helps Castiel with the first aid kit. Carefully removing his shoes and pants to get at the bite on his leg. She hands the pants to another angel Sarah, who'd offered to wash and sew them. Castiel sits in his underwear, feeling too tired and sore to be embarrassed. Jo is cleaning the bite on his arm, it's shallow compared to the mess of his leg. She shakes her head as she wipes away the blood and dirt...

"I still can't believe that just happened - you were so brave" 

"I was terrified" Admitted Castiel 

"You saved my life" Said Jo meeting Castiel's eyes "Thank you" 

Castiel smiled at her "I got lucky"

"No, I got lucky, being out there with you. You fought it - and won" 

*** 

The smell of blood fills the air as Bela begins to skin the wolf, creating a small cut above the wolf's front legs continuing it around the back of the wolf, at the bottom of its neck... Another woman, Anna helps her by holding the body steady as she gets her fingers under the wolfs hide, pulling the skin down so it peels away, like taking off a sock from a large foot - only much more bloody, Bela gags a little when the hide pulls away from the body. Splatters of blood hitting her cheeks and the floor as the pink muscle and meat of the wolf is exposed. 

"Oh God that is disgusting" She mutters "Where do you want this?" She asks holding up the hide to Castiel 

"Somewhere a bit further away from the camp" He points behind himself "There is a river that way, so in that direction would be best" 

When Bela returns from getting rid of the wolf skin, she comes back and picks up a larger knife - she removes the wolfs head in one clean cut and then she picks up her smaller knife and begins to gut the wolf, one long cut from the neckline down its tummy, she lets all the insides fall out on a small plastic sheet, next to the head and then hangs the carcass over a thick wooden branch that has been slotted over the two sticks standing on either side of the fire and with that Bela begins to cook the beast.

*** 

Meanwhile back in the base

Balthazar is glaring at Gabriel "So you were going to just leave" He says disgustedly "After everything we have all been through together"

Gabriel shrugs "Doesn't matter now, does it" 

"Yes," Said Balthazar standing up "It does Gabriel. I need to know where your head is at... You may not think it, but we need you. I need you. You're my friend. Would you have even told me? If you'd been allowed to go, would you have told me you didn't plan on coming back?" 

Gabriel shrugs "I don't know, hadn't really thought about it"

Balthazar shakes his head "Why did you want to leave?"

"Because I hate being trapped, I hate just sitting around in here - waiting for them to come up with a use for me"

"Then why haven't you asked to be let out?" Asked Balthazar quietly

Gabriel looks up at him, his face a picture of sadness "Because I'm scared that they will confirm what I already believe - that we are prisoners here. If I ask, and they say no... Everyone will know... and it will change everything, as much as I moan and complain - people can still tell me that I could ask to go... Because they believe - or hope - that I would be allowed. Imagine not being able to believe that? Imagine knowing for sure, that we were being kept here with no chance of getting out unless they find a cure..."

Balthazar blinks in surprise at his friend...

"I want out. But I don't want it badly enough to possibly expose to everyone else - that we are trapped. I may not share yours or Cas' faith, but I wouldn't ever want to be the cause for it to be proved wrong"

***

Dean is lying on his front on his bed, sketching, when Sam walks in. 

"Hey" Says Sam

"Hi" Dean looks over at his brother, tucking his sketch pad under his pillow and giving Sam a truly unconvincing smile.

"Been to the window today?" Asked Sam

"Nope. I'll go tomorrow, see how Balthazar and the others are doing" 

"You ok?" 

"Fine" 

"Really?" 

"Sam... I'm fine" 

Sam rolled his eyes "It's alright if you're worried about them, about Castiel - he is your friend" 

"Alright - I'm worried," Said Dean sounding angry and sitting up "It was my stupid idea in the first place. So if anything happens to him out there, it's because of me" 

"You could think of it the other way..." Said Sam gently "He might help the others, he might be able to keep them safe - your 'stupid idea' could end up saving live's" 

Dean frowned at Sam "I guess..." 

"Dean, it was a good idea. Castiel came back the first time, he was fine. He can help them, he can show them how he survived. I know you didn't intend for him to volunteer, but they stand a much better chance with him being there" 

***

The first bite burns his mouth slightly and Castiel has to take a sip of water to cool down. 

"You need to drink that" Said Jo pointing to the herb tea they had made for him 

"I know, I know, but that's hot too. Just needed to cool my mouth down. This damn wolf is still trying to kill me" 

After allowing the mix of herb tea to cool down, Castiel dutifully drank it all down. It tasted horrible, but the Calendula they had found would help heal his wounds and the Echinacea was said to have immune-enhancing properties. With not much real medicine this had been Castiel's idea to help heal his leg. 

And of course... There would be the maggots too. But they would have to wait a day or two for those to appear on the wolf's carcass... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying this story so far =D 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always greatly appreciated. =D
> 
> Happy Shipping <3


	16. Way Down We Go

After an early breakfast of wolf meat, Castiel removed the bandage on his leg, it came away from his wound with a sticky yellowy white substance. And it smelt, bad. Jo looked at him with a worried expression, passing him another cup of the foul tasting herb tea before kneeling down beside him and wiping across the wound as gently as she could, more pus oozing from it as she pressed down. 

"This does not look good" She mutters as she cleans it as best she can.

"No, it doesn't" Agreed Castiel biting the inside of his mouth against the pain "I don't think this is helping much," Said Castiel indicating the tea.

"I'll see if we have any maggots yet when I've finished" Said Jo with an unconvincing smile

***

There was a firm knock on the door. Dean groaned as Sam rolled out of bed to answer it. He opened the door, as Dean sat up in his bed to see who was waking them up so early. 

"Hello, boys. Which of you strapping young lads is Dean Winchester" 

"That'd be me," Said Dean jumping out of bed and frowning sleepily at the man in front of him "And you are?" 

"My name is Crowley - Doctor Crowley.  I need to speak with you- " He glanced at Sam "Alone" 

Dean's frown deepened but he grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it on, patting Sam on the shoulder as he walked out of their door and into the corridor beyond. Crowley closed the door and turned to face Dean. 

"I am in need of a mechanical engineer and I hear you're one of the best" 

"Then you heard wrong," Said Dean cracking a smile "I'm not one of the best, I am the best" 

"I require help with a... delicate situation, can you keep a secret Mr. Winchester?" 

"From?"

"Everyone" Said Crowley "Including your brother" 

"What..."

"Either you can or you can't Mr. Winchester, you need to be sure. The consequences for telling other people are... Shall we say severe" 

Dean scratched the back of his neck "I can keep a secret. You got a problem you need fixing - I'm your guy, but as this is outside my normal work - I expect to be compensated?" 

Crowley raised an eyebrow "Oh, you shall be. How does an extra meal a day for yourself and your brother, for two weeks sound?"

"Good. But I want something else too" Said Dean barely believing he was going to push his luck after such an offer 

"Which is?" Asked Crowley

"One A4 pad of paper and four drawing pencils" 

Crowley scoffed "Done. Get dressed, I'll wait here" 

Dean nodded and turned around going back into his room... Sam looked up at him questioningly. 

"They need a mechanic, don't know how long this will take" Said Dean as he pulled on his work overalls and rooted under the bed for his shoes. 

"What for?" Asked Sam

"No idea," Said Dean truthfully before lacing up his boots and walking out "See you in a bit"

Crowley led Dean through the base, through winding corridors and stopped at what he had always assumed was a dead end... Then Dean frowned deeply as he watched Crowley place his hand behind a loose wall panel. A light seemed to scan his hand and then... a door opened, a door that looked like a wall... Opened up and revealed a tiny room behind it. Dean followed Crowley into the tiny room. Crowley closed the door and the room began to move... Downwards. It was an elevator. 

"What the..." Said Dean stunned

Crowley turned to Dean "Mr. Winchester, what you are about to see is highly confidential, less than fifteen people of the general population know of Level six's existence, and you need to keep it that way"

"Level six?" Muttered Dean eyes wide

"It's also referred to as 'The Pit'" 

"This place has been here this whole time? Under our feet?" Asked Dean as the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened up before him to reveal a large hall, cell after cell, two long rows of barred doors. 

"Yes"

"How does no one know about it? How are you only just needing an engineer?"

"We had our own mechanic, but two days ago he was brutally murdered..."

"He what?" Said Dean shifting uncomfortably "By who?"

"By... one of our... shall we say - residents... It appears that Alistar got... bored. But he has been taken care of. You needn't worry about him" 


	17. Maggots

Castiel was sat on the grass bank by the river, he'd been helped here by Anna. He could feel his head was swaying like he was losing control of his body. He looked down to the tiny pot of maggots next to him and picked two out of the tub. Holding his hand flat he dropped the two maggots into the grooves between his fingers - like a tiny maggot race track. He watched in amusement as they wiggled from one end of his hand to the other. The 'winner' was then used to bait his makeshift fishing hook, that was attached to some white thread... And the loser went back into the pot. As he pulled the long stick back over his head to cast his line, the movement made him feel dizzy and his swaying became more pronounced, taking deep gulps of air to steady himself. He cast his bait into the river and watched with heavy eyelids, waiting for a fish...

Three hours and several small fish later, Castiel lay back on the grass, looking up into the blurry sky. His eyes closed and he slipped into a pain-free sleep. 

"Castiel?" 

He woke up with a slight jump, trying to sit up to fast sent his stomach rolling and he vomited on the grass beside him - well there goes breakfast he thinks humourlessly. 

Jo and Bela rush over, helping him up on to his one good leg, he was wobbly and unfocused. 

"We should just do this here," Says Jo trying to keep the worry from her voice as much as she can.

Bela nodded, pulling Castiel away from his sick and sitting him on a soft looking patch of grass a few meters away with Jo's help. Bela pulls a bottle of water from her bag and grabs the tub of maggots, beginning to give them a quick wash. 

"I caught some fish," Says Castiel sounding far away and confused, but also proud.

"Yeah you did," Says Jo patting him lightly on the back "Still taking care of us, even when you're not well" 

"Well," Said Bela convinced she'd washed the maggots, as well as she could "It's our turn to try and help you now..." 

Castiel swallowed hard - squeezing his eyes tight shut, his forehead was sweat-damp and he felt somewhat dizzy, his eyes were slightly off focus as he opened them to watch as Bela and Jo lifted his leg and loosened the bandage. Castiel winced as they began peeling it away from his leg carefully, the yellowy pus had crusted and stuck to the cloth, with the cloth came some of the scab as it tore loose from Castiel's leg he felt the cold air stinging the now oozing open wound, which was red and swollen. The angry wound wept a steady stream of discharge for a few seconds as Bela took off the soiled bandage. Castiel felt shaky and the sight of the infection made him feel nauseous again. 

"This is getting worse," She said, "Do you really think these will help?" She asked holding up the plastic tub of maggots

"They've been washed?" Asks Castiel, even though he'd just seen Bela wash them...

"Yes in boiled water left to cool" She nodded

"Then it's worth a shot," Said Castiel "Thank you for helping me, I know this isn't... pleasant" 

"Don't be stupid, of course, we're going to look after you" Said Jo.

Castiel knows they are going to have to try to clean away the infection first, whatever it is... it's turning his leg a deep red color. The skin around the wound is warm to the touch and he wasn't even sure that the herbal tea was helping at all. They had to try cleaning the wound with maggots. He'd read it a long time ago, a book that had mentioned maggots were used to clean wounds, maggots ate dead or dying flesh - which would help keep the wound cleaner and reduce the risk of infection. He already had an infection, so he wasn't sure how helpful if at all, they would be. But he was running out of options. Now though, before he could put the maggots to use - they'd have to drain and clean the wound as best they could. And he knew... This was going to really, really hurt. 

"Ok, are you ready for this?" Asked Jo looking apologetically at Castiel

He nodded, shifting on his bum so that he was sat more comfortably. Jo grabbed his ankle, trying to be both gentle and firm. She raised his leg further, Castiel's face was already reddening and he pressed his lips together tightly... It was already painful, and they hadn't even started... 

Bela stood with one hand on either side of Castiel's leg. Feeling like the worst person in the world as she quickly grabbed it and squeezed down, pushing the infection to the surface, Castiel made muffled sounds of pain behind his lips and his leg shook as he fought his own instincts to pull away... 

A yellowy fluid began to drip from his calf on to the grass beneath him, Bela pressed down harder and the flow became more steady, eventually, blood mixed in with the pus and Castiel, who'd gone even dizzier from the pain, slumped backward on to the grass, passing out. 

Bela looked at Jo concerned... But Jo shook her head. 

"Keep going," She said "He's out cold - get as much out as you can now, while he can't feel it. Then we can put the maggots on and re-bandage his leg up" 

***

When Dean emerged from The Pit, he was sweaty and dirty. His brain was still buzzing about everything he'd seen and learned down there, how was it that out of four thousand people, a mere fifteen knew about Level Six... and the three hundred men and women that lived down there...

The job had not been easy, he'd never seen such a complex system or machine. But after three hours he'd finally fixed the problem and the air in The Pit had begun to cool, he'd felt the breeze on his face and Crowley had thanked him and then told him he'd get his extra food, paper and pencils the following day.  

*** 

Twenty Eight Hours Later...

  
Dean is waiting by the window, anxiety rolling off him in waves - why were they back so early? What had happened? He watched the glass doors open and his breath catches as he watches the female angels walk in... he counts them, his worry growing as he can't see Castiel - he finishes his count at twenty-four. Which meant that as well as Castiel there were six female angels missing from the count... Dread fills him... Where were they? Where was Castiel? He see's Bela rush into Balthazar's arms... hugging him tightly - he feels a pang of jealousy... Then he see's Jo... Her eyes are red, she's been crying...

 


	18. Return To Sender

Jo see's Dean at the window and makes her way over to him. Gabriel see's her crying from the railing where he was watching the angels return and heads over to her too, after having scanned the group for Castiel and not finding him, he ends up reaching the window at the exact same time she does, he and Dean both looking at her... Waiting for her to speak. A sense of expectation grows in the air.

She tries to compose herself, wiping her eyes. But as soon as she looks up at Gabriel and then to Dean... She breaks down again... 

"Where is he?" Asks Gabriel stoically

"He wouldn't wake up..." Says Jo "We wanted to stay as long as we could, to look for the others, but... but... we couldn't wait any longer, we had to bring him back, but... We brought him back too late..." 

Dean's face pales as he asks "Is he alive?"

***

Twenty Six Hours Earlier...

Castiel opens his eyes blinking as the sun stings them, he slowly pushes himself up, he see's his leg has been bandaged up again, it throbs painfully - but there is something else... and he realizes he can feel maggots moving beneath the cloth, it's a faint feeling, but he still shudders at the thought. He manages to hold the rising bile down. Looking about him, he is surprised to see, that he is alone. Bela and Jo are nowhere in sight. The fish he'd caught earlier have gone, and there is a bottle of water and plastic box next to him, opening it, he see's a small portion of cooked and de-boned fish. His stomach swirls at the smell... He just can not eat it, he doesn't feel like he wants to eat anything... But he forces himself to drink some of the water that had been left for him. 

He turns his head at the sound of footsteps approaching, he looks up at the figure walking toward him "Bela?" He mumbles 

"Hey, you're awake," She says kindly "Sorry we left you, had a situation..."

"You look stressed?" Said Castiel trying to focus on Bela's face

"They're gone" Said Bela slowly "Charlie, Gilda, Anna, Madison, Hannah, and Claire" 

"What do you mean?" Asked Castiel, looking wildly about him "It wasn't another wolf? Was it?" 

"No, there are no signs of anything like that... They were meant to be checking the traps, you know for rabbits... The traps are all empty. And they're... just gone."

"I need to help" Said Castiel pushing himself up on his arms, he feels several stages of fucked up but there are six women missing - he has to help. 

"No, you need to rest. Castiel!!!" Bela tries to catch him... But as soon as he tries to put weight on his injured leg it collapses under him and he drops heavily to the ground.

"Fuck" Mutters Bela as she looks him over - he's out cold, again. His bandage is soaking patches of red and his face is hot to the touch.

Bela looks up as Jo walks up "Any sign of them?"

"No" Said Jo "Is he still out of it?"

"No, he woke up and tried to get up and help, then passed out again - he is even worse, his legs bleeding again and he is burning up" Bela looks up at Jo

"Do you think... That Charlie and the others... just left?" Asked Jo, looking at Castiel on the ground, willing him to just wake up "I overheard a conversation between Gabriel and that guy who window stalks Castiel - something about Gabriel wanting to leave - maybe they aren't hurt... Maybe they just left?" 

Bela looks at Jo, knowing exactly what her lines of thought were "You want to take him back to the base, don't you?" 

Jo nods "He saved my life..." 

Bela nods, looking away from Jo "And we have no idea where Charlie and the others are... They might be fine... They might not need our help - but Cas does. And we know how to save him"

"Get him to a doctor" Nods Jo "Do you agree then?" 

"I'm not happy about it, but what the hell are we going to do? Six of us vanish... He is seriously injured and honestly, I don't think anything we do out here is going to save him now... We know there are wolfs out here and we don't really have the weapons to defend ourselves... We need to go back, re-group... Go back to camp, talk to the others, we going to need to make something to carry him on, a stretcher or something too..."

Jo and Bela were talked into waiting another day, groups went out in search of the missing women. But after twenty-four hours, and no signs of them... They had to reluctantly, give up. A stretcher had been constructed by those who'd stayed at the camp to look after Castiel, who weaved in and out of consciousness, he'd drank some sips of water, but refused to eat anything. He started asking for Balthazar and Gabriel and becoming more and more confused, then his eyes rolled back into his head and he was silent, Jo tried to wake him, but he made no signs that he heard her, in fact - if it wasn't for the quick shakey breaths making his chest rise and fall, he'd almost look...

Bela pressed the group again about leaving... And this time, everyone agreed. Castiel was lifted on to the stretcher and the women took turns in helping to carry him home...  

***

"Dean" Said Crowley greeting him as Dean opened his door.

"Hey" Said Dean nodding at him

"You did a good job yesterday" Said Crowley "I trust you have not shared our secret?"

"I've kept my mouth shut - you made good on your promise, I make good on mine," Said Dean holding up the new sketch pad that had been slid under his door earlier. 

Crowley smiled "Good - I have a proposition for you" 

"Another job?" 

Crowley nods "I would like you to be Level Six's permanent engineer. The previous engineer left a laundry list of problems - and after seeing how you handled your task yesterday, there is no doubt in my mind, that Level Six could benefit greatly from your expertise. What do you say?" 

"I say - Yeah. If we make the double meals for me and my brother a permanent thing" 

"Of course" Said Crowley pleased "I will sort you a pass chip out for the door" 

"What do you mean?" Asked Dean confused 

"The door to the elevator, I have a tiny chip in my hand, it's like a key. We will get you one made up tomorrow"

"I thought it scanned your hand" Said Dean surprised "Fair enough"

"Well, I shall come and get you tomorrow morning and show you what you will be working on..." Crowley turned to leave, but stopped and turned back "Oh and... by the way didn't you say yesterday that you had a friend who was an angel out on the mission?"

"Yeah? So?" 

"Well... I thought you might like to know they are back" 

"What the fuck? How do you know?" Asked Dean looking at Crowley with rising panic

"There is very little that goes on here that I am not privy too... camera's picked them up banging on the doors to be let in..."

"Why are they back?" 

"No idea, all I know is... There are less returning, than went out" 

***

"Yes, yes he is alive. He is in surgery" Said Jo "He... We were attacked by a wolf the first day out, he saved my life, but he got bitten - really badly on his leg. And it just kept getting worse, some kind of infection... He... he has to have it amputated"

Gabriel and Dean's eyes meet... An uneasy tension of fear brewing... as well as, blame. 


	19. You Make Me A Believer

Dazed and confused Castiel wakes up, the room is bright. He blinks against the light. As his vision focusses he begins to take in his surroundings. He is laid in a bed. There is a white plastic curtain hanging around his bed, there are wires going into his arms, that are laid to his sides... Quiet machines beeping every so often behind him. His eyes travel down his body, his lower half is covered in a light white sheet... He frowns... eyes traveling down the outline of his right leg, he moves his foot, the sheet moves slightly, then his eyes flick to the side of the bed where the sheets lie flat and neat - where his left leg should be. 

His heart rate increases as his panic begin's to build. His thoughts running wild as he struggles to remember what happened, he remembers being outside, he remembers with a churn of his stomach the wolf ripping into his skin, he remembers being unwel and in tremendous pain - he remembers fleeting moments of conversation, between Bela and Jo, talking about him, about how ill he looked... 

Then there is a gap, where is he? How did he get here... 

His voice is rough as he tries to call out "Hello?" A few seconds go by and nothing happens - so he calls out again "Is someone there?"

The plastic curtain is pulled back quickly, and there is Meg, fully suited looking down at him "You're awake" She says - the clear tone of relief in her voice.

"What...What happened?" He asked 

"You were suffering from Cellulitis. Which is a bacterial infection introduced through an opening in the skin that can become life-threatening, if not treated. It was too late for antibiotics - we had to amputate the infected limb... to save your life."

Castiel looks down again - taking in the flat space on the bed where his leg should be... His eyes roll back into his head as he passes out head falling back into his soft pillow... 

*** 

Castiel is wheeled into the main room of the Angel's living quarters, by Gabriel. He see's Dean sat behind the window, he is slumped back in his chair, arms folded over his chest, legs crossed one on top of the other sticking out in front of him. His eyes are closed, he is sleeping. Castiel looks up at Gabriel... 

"How long has he been sitting there?" He asked quietly, watching the sleeping man. He looked so calm, so peaceful. 

Gabriel looks over at Dean, then casts a smile down at Castiel... "He came as soon as he heard you were back... He had to leave for work the next day, but he has been back - the last two nights, sleeping here. Hoping to see you" Said Gabriel, swallowing "Do you want me to wake him up?" 

"No," Said Castiel thinking he wanted to be alone for a moment - but having Dean close by was comforting "Could... Could you just... " Castiel motioned to the window, not wanting to ask to be wheeled there out loud. Gabriel nodded and pushed the wheelchair over to the glass window. 

"Want me to wait with you?" He asked softly

"No, no you should go to bed" He shook his head "Thank you, Gabriel" 

Gabriel turned, set on walking away, but something pulled him back, a nagging guilt - he couldn't leave - not without talking to Castiel first "Cas?"

"Mmm?" 

"I'm sorry... " 

Castiel frowned "What for?"

Gabriel sits on a chair next to him and looks at him, face cracking and the tears he'd held back since he'd heard Castiel had been badly hurt finally spilling over his eyes, he wiped his face, taking a deep breath, he smiled sadly at Castiel "I... I..." 

"Gabriel?" Asked Castiel, confused. 

"It's my fault, all my moaning and scheming to get out - all of that led to this. It's because of my selfishness that you volunteered to go out. It's because of me..."

Castiel grabbed Gabriel's hand, shocking him out of his speech "This is not your fault Gabriel" 

"But... it is. It is Cas. I wish I could go back - I would go with the girls - and I'd do it to help. Not to get away. I am so sorry" Gabriel choked back a sob. 

Castiel squeezed Gabriel's hand "I don't blame you Gabriel - there was no way you could have known what was going to happen" 

"That is no excuse for how I behaved," Said Gabriel "I'd give anything to take it back Cas... I just..." 

"Gabriel, you are, you and Balthazar - are my family, my best friends. I wanted to help the girls - but, I was selfish too, I didn't want you to leave. I didn't want to lose you. I went out there, for me just as much as for the girls" 

Gabriel's face reddened and shook slightly as more silent tears poured down his cheeks, his trembling hands came up to wipe his eyes again and he gave Castiel a heartbreaking smile "I hope you know - how amazing you are Cas. You are so strong" 

Castiel couldn't meet his friend's eyes - just nodding as he silently disagreed, his eyes staring unfocused into his own lap - his own tears dropping from his face now, taking a slightly gasping breath in he mutters "You should go to bed Gabriel" He looks up and offers as convincing a smile to his friend as he can.

Gabriel nods. Gripping Castiel's shoulder lightly, before turning and making his way back to his room. 

Castiel blows out a breath as Gabriel disappears behind his door, he tries to steady his breathing but as he looks around him, the darkened room suddenly seems massive - massive and empty. He looks through the window at Dean, wishing he didn't feel so alone. Tears continue to roll down his face as he cries silently. He glances down to where he can still feel toes - toes that are no longer there. The swollen and bandaged stump, mocking him. 

***

"Cas" A small voice sounded from in front of him. Castiel looks up, straight into Dean's open eyes... 

 He smiles weakly "Hello Dean" 

Dean stands up, taking in Castiel's face, looking down to his leg and the stump, taking in the wheelchair - the most heartbreakingly beautiful expression on his face - his eyes start to water, he reaches out, putting a hand flat against the glass... 

"Jesus Cas... " He mutters 

Castiel's lip curls, a half smile "You should see the other guy" 

Dean's laugh turns into a sob as he presses as close to the window as he can, pulling his chair with him and sitting down in front of Castiel again "I'm sorry Cas, I can't believe this happened - If I'd just kept my big mouth shut" His eyes glaze in tears 

"It's no one's fault but my own Dean" Said Castiel firmly "I decided to go out - no one forced me. I wanted so badly to help, and to stop Gabriel from leaving" 

"You did help Cas"

"No... I was useless. Six women - women that I was meant to be looking after - vanished"

"I know, but that's not on you" Said Dean quietly before adding "You saved Jo" 

Castiel shakes his head "I failed"

"I hate hearing you talk like this like you have no hope anymore," Said Dean as Castiel stares at the floor "You can't give up Cas... Not you. You made me a believer"

"Even if we get a cure... I'm not going to be much use to anyone now Dean, not like this" Said Castiel sadly voicing the thought that had been nagging at him for the past two days "I'll become a burden"

Dean shakes his head "You aren't a burden Cas, you're a fucking hero. You saved Jo's life" 

Castiel turns his head away from Dean, his eyelids closing and squeezing a tear out, that tracks down his face "I'm nothing" 

"You don't mean that. You're... you. You mean a lot to a lot of people, you mean a lot to Gabriel and Balthazar and Jo... And me" Dean presses on before Castiel can respond "Without you, without all of you - we are all just lost beneath the surface. Buried alive. Without you, Jo wouldn't be here"  

"I can't walk Dean... I can't do anything" 

Dean looks at the bandaged stump where Castiel's leg used to be... thinking, he stands up and says defiantly "You will walk again. I promise you" He begins pacing but stops giving Castiel a guilty look and sits down again "I'm a fucking engineer - I fix problems every day. Mend things that are broken. I know I can come up with something to help you walk" He looks away from Castiel thinking "I know I can"

***

Dean makes his way through the winding corridors of the base, Castiel had eventually fallen asleep in his chair and only then had Dean left, leaving a note on the window saying he would be back, as he walks his gaze is on the floor but his feet know which way to carry him. He comes to a halt in front of the hidden door to the mysterious Level Six. He leans back against the wall, letting his thoughts consume and weigh him down until he sinks down the wall. Sat against the wall, he waits, he'll wait as long as it takes - Because of him, Castiel went out again, and because of that, he lost his leg. 

Dean has to fix it. He has to do something - and there was only one person he knew that could possibly have the resources he required to complete his task. Crowley. He pulls his sketch pad from his pocket and begins working on designs. He would make Castiel whole again.  

 


	20. Risky Measures

"You understand this won't be risk-free?" Said Crowley looking at Dean, he wanted to be honest. He was fond of Dean. The man who seemed to be willing to risk everything to help a friend. Crowley knew what he was proposing was dangerous, but he also knew - if it worked... It could help the population of the base survive outside when they eventually made their way into the sunlight.  
  
Dean nodded, his hands fidgeting in front of him "If I agree... you'll give me everything I need to make Castiel a new leg?" 

"Everything you could possibly need, materials to make it and the tools, even help to make it," Said Crowley "And I will personally assist with the attachment operation"

"Then I'll do it," Said Dean firmly 

Crowley nodded back at Dean "Very well, we have a deal - You can make your friend a new leg first and then you will move into Level Six to be monitored for a week" 

Dean stretched out his hand, Crowley took it, and they shook hands. 

***

Dean was stood outside the window, next to Meg, talking to Gabriel through the glass. 

"So?" He said after he'd explained his idea

"You can really do that?" Asked Gabriel skeptically

Dean turned to look at Meg, who'd listened to him intently. She took a deep breath and began nodding "I've never done a procedure like it, it will be difficult... But it is possible. I would need assistance though" 

"Doctor Crowley has agreed to help" Said Dean confidently 

Meg raised her eyebrows "Really? You got that hermit to come out of his hidey-hole did you?"

Dean looked at her, not sure how much she knew, or how much he was allowed to say, so he just nodded. 

"Very well. We will need to find out exact measurements, it has to be perfect, otherwise, he will be walking around with one leg longer than the other"

Gabriel couldn't believe what he was hearing "He could walk," He said quietly and looked up at Dean "We can't tell him about this, not yet - We can't get his hopes up until it's a sure thing" 

"I know" Said Dean finally feeling something other than an utter dislike for the man in front of him "That's why I wanted to talk to you about it" 

"Alright," Said Gabriel "If this can help Cas, I'm in. What do I have to do?" 

"We can take measurements from all angels as part of their testing, so he doesn't think it is just him," Said Meg thinking out loud "I need to check how he is healing anyway" 

Dean looked from Meg to Gabriel "Keep him as happy as you can, he seemed really defeated when I spoke to him earlier. I won't be able to visit as much for a while, as I'll be working on this, so you have to help him stay hopeful" 

Gabriel nodded, looking at Dean with new found respect. They both seemed to understand - Castiel losing hope, would affect the entire group of angels. Castiel was always positive, strong, his beliefs that they would one day reach the surface kept the moral of the other angels up - for him to lose it now... was not an option.

After Gabriel had rejoined his fellow angels, Meg turned to Dean with a curious expression on her face. 

"How did you get Crowley to help you with this?" She asks

Dean fidgets, before turning to meet her gaze "I'm doing some odd jobs for him"

Meg's brow furrows and she pulls Dean closer to her, looking around her before she says in a lowered voice "I don't know what you've heard, but you need to be careful, Crowley is a genius, a brilliant doctor - but some of his... ah... experiments have gone badly wrong... About as badly as you can imagine. I believe his intentions are always for the greater good, but sometimes his methods... Well, they are questionable" 

Dean tries not to think about Meg's words to deeply - He is going to help Castiel, even if it kills him. 

***

Over the next two days, Dean designs more than half a dozen robotic legs for Castiel, his final design based off the measurements that Meg gets for him after giving Castiel and the other female angels checkups and testing them all, she had taken blood samples, checked for signs of illness and full body scanned each of them. They hadn't been outside for the full thirty days... But none of them had gotten sick and with the exception of Castiel, they had all returned with a clean bill of health. Meg told Dean that they were making huge steps towards finding a way to cure the population of the base against the radiation outside... 

"We are so close," She told him, an odd expression on her face.

"You don't look convinced?" Said Dean looking at her.

"Hmm... Oh no, I'm sure we can do it... It's just, erm..." 

"What?" Asked Dean frowning at her.

"It won't be easy," Said Meg not meeting Dean's eyes. 

 

Dean's proud of his final design, his most 'human' looking leg, with a secret. Inside the leg, reachable through the 'calf muscle' panel will hide a blade, a silver blade that Dean has plans to engrave with 'Castiel's Angel Blade'. He wasn't there to protect Castiel from the wolf, but this way, Dean feels he is offering Castiel a blade for protection. He never wants to think of Castiel not being able to defend himself. The blade will look like part of the design to anyone but him and the compartment for it will only open when Castiel needs it, the leg will contain a tiny computer, that will be able to intercept instructions sent from Castiel's brain to the nerve endings of his leg, if it works - which Dean is confident it will - he will be able to walk as though he has his real leg. He will be able to bend his knee, move his foot and most importantly... walk and run. 

 


	21. Resistant

"Thank you" Muttered Castiel as Gabriel and Balthazar both helped to lower him into the bathtub. Balthazar gently resting Cas' stump in a hoist so the bandages don't get wet in the shallow lukewarm water. Castiel looks up at them awkwardly, 

"We'll be right outside the door, shout when you're done, alright?" Said Gabriel kindly "And Cas... Don't feel like you have to rush ok? Take as long as you want"

The door closes and Castiel stares at it for a moment, a far-off look in his eyes as they begin to water, tears burning slow lines down either side of his face. He knew his friends were trying to help, well, they were helping. But the undertones of pity in Gabriel's voice and the sheepish look Balthazar had given him, made Castiel's skin crawl. And he gets it... He understands they feel sorry for him, it's not like that's a bad thing - he'd be the exact same if it had been either of them... But it still stings, he knows - his body is drastically changed, but his mind hasn't caught up yet. In his head, he still has both his legs and the sheer frustration of not being able to care for himself properly that, that produces - has him digging his nails into his head as his hands rub over his face, a rougher than necessary method of wiping the tears from his face.  

He puffs out a heavy sigh. Looking down at the low water level, scoffing at it as he thinks it hardly seems worth it - Can't get his bandage wet, can't have hot water as the steam will moisten it, can't have the water too deep in case of splashes. Can't get into or out of the bath by himself... His eyes sting again as fresh tears pool in the corners of them, he lets out a dry laugh as a thought flitters across his mind - about how at least he has lots of spare socks now. 

As he lays back slightly his back resting against the cold bath, he tries to think of anything other than his leg... But that only takes his mind to Charlie, Gilda, and the four other missing women. Where were they? How had they managed to seemingly slip away without a trace? His thoughts betray him and he suddenly has images of a pack of wolfs chasing his friends... visions of teeth... and blood. He remembers how the wolfs that had attacked him and Jo had sounded as it snarled at them, he remembers the feeling of teeth breaking through his flesh, he remembers reaching for his knife... and ending the beasts life. He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head as if trying to shake the thoughts out of his head.

His own sadness and pain at losing his leg suddenly anger's him, how can he justify moping about his own situation when six of the women he'd swore to protect were missing, at best lost... at worse... dead. His brain is a swirling mess of regret. What if's and if only's invade his thoughts and he is reminded of Dean's words... 

_'I wish you'd stay'_

What if he had? Would Jo have died? Or would the women never have even crossed paths with the wolf? It had been Castiel's idea to take that walk... _walk_. His lip wobbles as fresh sobs break through his resolve not to wallow in his personal loss - Would he spend the rest of his life being pushed around in a chair? And where had Dean been the past two days? He'd promised to try and help, and then... Not returned. Was the sight of Castiel's stump to much for him? No - he shook his head. Dean was obviously busy, he had a life beyond that window - Castiel knew that. But still... he missed him. 

He allowed his mind to circle the subject of Dean for a while, it was far less painful. Dean hadn't wanted Castiel to go - and not like Gabriel - Gabriel hadn't wanted Castiel to go, so that he himself could have gone, and left for good - But Dean, Dean hadn't wanted him to leave... because he cared. Because he was his friend. 

Castiel smiled a genuine smile as he remembered Dean washing the window topless. Castiel wasn't dense - he knew there was a mutual attraction there, Dean was good looking, caring and he made him smile, and Dean seemed to like Castiel too, or else Castiel had been reading their shared moments completely wrong. It was nice to think that Dean may have a little crush on him... Flattering even. He wondered if Dean would still talk to him the same now, or if he - like Gabriel and Balthazar would now see him differently. As some fragile thing. 

He mentally shakes himself ' _Enough! For fuck sake - enough. Stop thinking - and wash yourself - you can still do that after all'_ Castiel picks up the soap and sponge stick and begins washing. Taking better care of his remaining leg than he ever had before, scrubbing at an awkward angle between his toes with the long sponge stick. Washing his leg over and over, bubbles formed and were scrubbed away, then as he added more soap the bubbles came back... He scrubbed his leg until the skin was turning pink, he paid extra attention to how it felt, how the sponge tickled at his foot, at how the water poured over the curly hairs on his shin, the water was almost cold now... And he couldn't get over how he'd never paid much attention to how sensitive to feelings his legs were before. How a light scratch of a dull fingernail over his knee could make the muscle twitch beneath. He watched as he wiggled his toes, he could feel the slight pull of the tendons below the surface of the skin... 

His eyes came to rest on his stump again... and he scrunched up his face. Point blank refusing to cry again. 

After another ten minutes, there was a gentle knock at the door and Balthazar and Gabriel came in, Castiel was sat sobbing in the now cold water. 

 


	22. Just A Few Questions

Castiel allows his friends to lift him out of the bath, a large fluffy towel is wrapped around him and he dry's himself off as best he can before he is helped into his wheelchair. He hasn't spoken to either of his friends, because he feels he is likely to snap them, they aren't doing anything wrong, they are being good friends, but that does nothing to quell is irritability. He offers them a weak smile but remains silent. 

Castiel lifts his good leg when boxer shorts are held up to him, Gabriel slipping them up under his towel to the knee and then as Balthazar lifts him, two hands under his armpits Castiel reaches down and pulls them up. Then a fresh t-shirt is pushed over his head and Castiel pushes his arms up under the material and slots his arms through the short sleeves. As Gabriel puts a sock on his foot. Then come the modified jeans, one leg has been cut and sewn so that covers his stump and Gabriel helps Castiel into those too.

Castiel finally speaks muttering a quiet thank you to his friends as Gabriel stands up and opens the door and then returns to push Castiel in his wheelchair out of the bathroom. Castiel wants to go back to his room, maybe just get in bed and sleep, he has been moved to a room on the ground floor, as trying to get him and his wheelchair up and down the stairs every day didn't make much sense. His new room had been Charlie and Gilda's room and just thinking about that nearly set him off again... 

But as he is wheeled by Gabriel into the main room again he suddenly he spots Dean at the window. Something like relief floods his heart, his friend was back. Gabriel pushes Castiel's wheelchair to the window. Sending a nod to Dean over Castiel's head. An understanding passing between them. Gabriel backs off and leaves to let Castiel and Dean talk. 

"Hey," Says Dean softly 

"Hello, Dean" Castiel replies

"Sorry I haven't been around for a couple of days..." Said Dean sitting on a chair next to the window

"That's alright Dean, I know you have a life of your own - I don't expect you to be here all the time"

"Still, I'm sorry - I've just been busy," Said Dean "How are you feeling?"

Castiel swallowed "Better" 

Dean raised an eyebrow "You want to try that again? Make me believe it this time?" 

Castiel huffed out a small laugh "Ok, the truth?"

"The truth" Repeated Dean dragging his chair forward a little.

"Physically, the pain is better. I'm still tired, achy. But it's better... But, the frustration of not being able to function properly - is driving me crazy" Castiel wipes his nose and sniffs before continuing "I require help with things that I would never have spared a second thought to before... I can't stop thinking about how I took it for granted before..."

Dean nodded solemnly, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket "I can try and take your mind off it a little?"

Castiel met Deans eyes, a small smile on his face "Alright" 

"I wrote out a bunch of questions, something's I wanted to ask you..."

"Alright" Repeats Castiel again eyeing the paper with curiosity now

"If you could see into the future, what would you hope to see?" Asked Dean reading from the paper

Castiel was taken back, he'd expected questions about the outside world, not ones so personal to him. He thought... What would he hope to see? "I want to see those doors open - and everyone be able to go through them... I would want to see us all living together, free"

Dean smiled, happy in the knowledge that at least Castiel still wanted to get outside - he'd worried that after what had happened, both times he'd gone out, that he may have begun to change his mind... 

"What are you most excited to experience again when we get outside?" A question very deliberately picked to remind Castiel that there were things he likes about being outside of the base. Things to look forward to. 

"I like the weather, the sunshine, the rain, the clear skies at night where you could count the stars"

Dean smiled again "What's your favorite book?"

“We Are Not Ourselves - by Matthew Thomas," Said Castiel without hesitation "I have a very old, very tattered copy of it somewhere" 

Dean logged that information away for later "What's your favorite color?" 

"Green," Said Castiel, wondering why Dean was asking these questions 

"Last one..." Said Dean smiling "If you could have a superpower for just one day, what would it be and what would you do?"

"A superpower?"

"Like, super strength, or flying or reading minds or whatever"

Castiel frowned, thinking back to that wolf... Flying would have been useful, he could have just flown out of its way... speed would have helped him to, but not Jo... Strength... He could have lifted Jo into the tree quicker... Maybe had time to get up there himself, and if not... He'd have been stronger, that would have helped to fight the beast... "Strength," He says finally "It would have given me a better chance against that wolf" 

"You still won Cas" Said Dean softly

Castiel pressed his lips tightly together "Yes, I really feel like a winner right now" 

Dean looks guilty at his slip up "Sorry" 

"No, I'm sorry - I just..." He shakes his head "Anyway, what have you been up to Dean?"

"I've been working on trying to find a way to help you. As well as my normal work" Says Dean 

Castiel looks at Dean "You needn't bother Dean... I'm hardly worth it"

"I don't believe that," Says Dean, a carefully downplayed tone of anger in his voice "You are worth it Cas"

Castiel shrugged but didn't argue. He was too tired, plus he didn't want to start getting into all that with Dean, he didn't want to tell Dean how he was feeling about himself at the moment... 

"I..." Dean rubbed the back of his neck "I spoke to Meg before... She thinks they're close to a breakthrough in getting it safe for everyone to go outside" 

Castiel looked up "Really?" 

"That's what she told me... If that does happen, soon... I'll go look for those girls with you if you want?" 

Castiel stared at Dean, half thinking about how nice Dean was to offer and half thinking how he'd be pretty useless, he'd have to be pushed everywhere... But, he knew he would want to look for Charlie and the others... So he nodded. 

"Yes, I would want to try and find them," He said thoughtfully "Thank you, Dean"

Dean just gave him a half smile "Of course, anyway it's getting late... I better go. But I'll be back soon, hopefully with good news" 

***

1 week later

 

Meg is watching as Castiel's eyes slide closed and he falls asleep, she turns to Crowley "So, you and Dean?"

Crowley looks up at her from across the table "What about me and Dean?" 

"You guys are close?" 

Crowley narrows his eyes at her "You have a question... spit it out?" 

"You've taken him down to level six, haven't you?" Asked Meg her tone accusatory 

"Yes"

Meg stares at him, shocked by his blunt response "You aren't allowed to do that Crowley, you have to get permission from the rest of the council, and I do not remember giving you mine"

Crowley scoffed "The council..." He rolls his eyes "It's all talk, you and I both know that we are the ones actually taking action. We are the ones getting results. You were the one who knew it was time to start sending the angels out, and I... Well, my work will ensure we survive once we get out there. You are going to free us Meg" The conviction in his voice was strong and Meg looked at him "Once we are free, everything I have done... Level Six... We will need it. Them. The council is just a bunch of stuffy old fools, you know as well as I - we'd be better off with some new, younger members being on it. They are more motivated" 

"Yes well, this place is starting to fall apart, we needed to push the research for the cure forward. I wouldn't have sent them out there so ill prepared if we had any other options..." Meg looks guilty for a moment "I never wanted to lose any of them... But, we are running out of time in here" 

Crowley nods "I met Dean... Because the weather stimulator broke down on six, he came and fixed it - within a few hours" 

Meg raised her eyebrows "It broke down?" She shook her head "So you think Dean would be a good candidate for a position on the council?" 

"I think the man is willing to take great risks for someone he barely knows, his loyalty is fierce. I think when it comes to problem-solving - Dean Winchester is the best man we have here" Nodded Crowley "He is everything I would want in a leader..." 

"You admire him?" Asked Meg surprised

"Have you seen this?" Asked Crowley holding up what was soon to be Castiel's new leg, it's metal shinning under the bright lights of the room, the design that had been etched by hand into the front of it standing out in its dark green color, Dean had carved a 'Tree of Life' symbol into the metal... "This is the work of a genius. Of course, I admire him" 

Meg looked at the leg "It certainly is" She looked down at Castiel who was unconscious on the table between them "Alright, let's get you on your feet again" She directed her last comment at Castiel as she began unwinding the bandages on his stump...


	23. A Gift For You

One week, several helpers from the depths of Level six, three sleepless nights, two fuck ups and rewiring attempts, five hours of metal etching, blistered fingers... Dean had been through it all, the physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism and detachment, feelings of lack of accomplishment - were textbook signs of a burnout... But now, as he sat looking at the finished product of his labor... He smiled. 

It was ready. 

He stood up, excitement on his face as he meets the eyes of the man sat in front of him, the man he'd become friends with over the past week, who'd helped him almost every day when he'd come to work on the leg in The Pit. 

"It's finished," He said "Can't believe it's actually finished" 

The man looked up at Dean "Well done Dean. I have to say, this is most impressive. Your friend Castiel is certainly lucky to have you"

"Yeah... Thanks, and also, thank you for all your help, would never have gotten it finished this soon without you, Ketch" Dean picked up the leg and patted Ketch on the shoulder before saying "Well... I best be going, I'll be back later though. Crowley wants me down here for a week" 

Ketch nodded "See you later Dean" 

***

Dean walks slowly up the corridor towards the window, he has the robotic leg in a black bag, so no one can see what is in it until he takes it out. He wants - Ideally to talk to Castiel alone before he shows it to him. 

He reaches the window, suddenly feeling very nervous, what if Castiel didn't want a robotic leg? He'd felt sure this entire time that he would, but as it came to the point where he was actually about to reveal it to him, his doubts set in. He placed the bag with the leg on a chair and stood in front of the window, watching the angels inside the room beyond it. His eyes fell on Castiel who was sat with a towel around his neck as Jo cut his hair. He looked in reasonably ok spirits. Smiling up at her as she held out a mirror to him. 

It was Gabriel that spotted Dean first, he walked up to the window to speak to him. 

"Dean," He said in greeting, he looked around checking Castiel was out of earshot before he spoke again "How is your little science project coming along?"

Dean smiled "It's finished. I have it here with me" 

Gabriel's eyes widened "Seriously?" 

"Yep, I want to show it to Cas first, alone if you don't mind" 

Gabriel seemed to be trying to contain his excitement, his smile was childlike "I will go and get him in a minute... But Dean... Before I do, I feel like I owe you an apology - I was a dick to you before and I misjudged you. I am sorry. I have come to realize what kind of man you are and... Well... thank you" 

Dean blinked, slightly taken aback but he nodded "It's forgotten, Gabriel" 

Gabriel gave him another smile, before turning around to look over at Castiel who was removing the towel from around him "Well, let's tell our boy the good news then" He said. He walked over to Castiel and kneeled down to whisper in his ear. Castiel suddenly looked over to the window, raising a hand to give Dean a small wave. Gabriel pushed his wheelchair to the window, winked at Dean and walked away, seeming to have a happy skip in his step. 

"Hello, Dean," Said Castiel sounding much more like his old self. 

"Hey Cas," Said Dean "Nice haircut" 

Castiel ran a hand through his freshly cut hair and smiled "Thank you" 

"So... er, I have something to show you. But before I do..." Dean stumbled over his words "I just wanted to say... A few days ago you said you weren't worth my time - to look into a way of helping you. I need you to know - how wrong that is. You are worth absolutely everything. You are unlike anyone I have ever met, so selfless. I... I care about you a lot and I wanted you to know that. I... christ I am not good at this - it's just that... you mean a lot to me"

Castiel stared at Dean, his tiny smile filled with emotion "You are very important to me too, Dean" 

Dean smiled, then he turned to pick up the bag from the chair "I've been working on something, this past week... I didn't tell you about it because I didn't want to get your hopes up. Gabriel and Meg have been helping me too. But... it's finished now. It's ready to go - if... you want it" Dean pulls the metal leg from the bag and holds it up, so Castiel can see it. 

Castiel's face is a beautiful picture of shock and awe as he takes in the sight of the false leg before him, his eyes water as they fall on the Tree etched into the front of the metal... 

 

"It's a robotic leg, it could be permanently attached to your leg, and the tiny computer in it will allow you to send signals from your brain to the leg... You will be able to walk, bend the knee, move the foot... It's measured to match your height..." Dean lowered his voice before continuing "Also, no one else knows about this... But there is a blade inside it, I couldn't protect you when you went out, but if you have to again, I feel better knowing you will always have a way to defend yourself... It will open the back panel when your heart rate increases indicating fear"  

Castiel stares at Dean, his eyes flood with tears which roll down his face as he blinks. He is stunned. 

"I can't believe you did this... Dean..." Castiel presses his palm against the glass, wishing he could reach through it and hug the man in front of him... "This is... this... " He stutters and shakes his head "Thank you so much, Dean... I can't even express... how grateful... thank you" 

Dean places his hand on the glass, over Castiel's, he smiles "You're welcome" 

***

"Where have you been? You've hardly been back here for the past week" Asks Sam as Dean walks through their room door and closes it behind him

Sam looks at his brother, he has dark circles under his eyes but he looked happy as he says "Working on something..." He grins wide before adding "Sam, I made Castiel a new leg" 

Sam stares at him "You what? How?"

Dean taps his nose and then points at Sam "I'm just that good" His smile is infectious and Sam grins at him

"Can... " Sam pauses wondering if this would be a weird question "Can I see it?"

"It's not that you can't... but, it's kinda being attached right now" He smiles "You should have seen Cas' face when I showed it to him..." 

"That's amazing Dean! I can't believe you did that! But... how did you get the materials for something like that?"

Dean looked over at Sam "Yeah, about that... It's not for free, I have to work it off, Crowley has some work for me on another level, so I'll be going staying down there for a week or so" In his head Dean reasoned, it wasn't a lie - but it also didn't break his deal with Crowley not to talk about Level six. 

"What kind of jobs?" Asked Sam

"Honestly? I don't know exactly what he is going to have me doing yet - all I know is he reckons it'll take at least a week" Dean can see more questions forming in Sams mind and in an effort to redirect his brothers focus he says "But you will still be getting some extra grub"

"I think this Crowley guy is sweet on you" Laughs Sam "Giving you - and me extra food? And now he wants you to bunk with him for a week..."

"It's not like that at all" Laughs Dean "Anyway, I better get a few things packed and be going. You going to be alright?"

"Dean, I think I can manage on my own for a week," Says Sam "Just take care of yourself, ok? You look like shit" 

"Charming," Says Dean rolling his eyes

"Just get some sleep. Alright?" 

"Yes mom" Laughs Dean before grabbing his sketch pad from under his pillow and putting it, along with some clothes into a bag "See you in a week Sammy"

***

Dean sat at the small desk in the room he would be staying in for the next week, apparently, it had belonged to a man by the name of Alistair. Dean remembered what Crowley had said about him and that he'd been taken care of... Only now that Dean was staying in his empty room, did it dawn on him exactly what Crowley had meant by that... And even though it seemed to be generally agreed, by the few people of Level Six that Dean had met so far, that they were better off without him, it still made Dean feel uneasy about staying in this room and his deal with Crowley. 

He pulls open his bag and drops the heavy copy of 'We Are Not Ourselves' - by Matthew Thomas, which he plans to read and write out so Castiel has a brand new copy, on the desk in front of him and then pulls from between the back pages the drawing he'd been working on for the past few weeks, whenever he got the chance... 

Dean brought his pencil to the paper and continued shading in some of Castiel's hair, he worked on it steadily, Crowley was still helping with Castiel's operation and Dean just wanted to do something calming and relax. About an hour later, he stopped to look at it, it was finished... He pinned it to the wall by his new bed and smiled. Maybe he would show it to Cas, one day. He hadn't even let Sam see this drawing... 

His eyes grew heavy as he looked into the smiling drawings face, as he began to doze off, his thoughts were of Castiel, walking on his new leg up to the window to speak with him... and smiling just like in Dean's drawing...


	24. On The Seventh Day

Dean waits for some people to pass, that he can hear them talking in the corridor outside, he then quietly pushes the door open and steps off the elevator, it's been a week since he last saw Castiel or Sam. He walks along the corridor, listening to conversations going on in the rooms he passes. He makes his way to his and Sam's room. As he approaches he can make out Sam's light breathing from inside, he smiles as he pushes the door open and see's his brother sleeping soundly on his bed. 

"Hey Sam," He says gently. Sam rolls over rubbing his eyes and looks up at Dean.

He sits up, eyes wide "Jesus Dean," He says getting off the bed quickly and staring at him "What the hell happened to you?" 

Dean snorts "What do you mean?" 

Sam grips Dean's arm and holds it up "You're... You've...?" 

"Been working and working out a lot" Said Dean shrugging his arm from his brother's grip. 

Sam frowned "It's only been a week Dean..." 

"I know that Sam. How have you been?" He asked - a clear deflection but he couldn't talk about what had happened to him, not to Sam, not to anyone. 

"I... I'm fine" Said Sam "What..."

"I'm starving" Said Dean cutting off whatever question Sam was going to ask that he likely wasn't allowed to answer "We got anything to eat?"

"Apple?" Said Sam pointing to the small table 

"That will do" Said Dean grabbing it, he didn't take a bite yet though - he knew not to give Sam time to begin his questioning again "Have you seen Cas at all this week?"

Sam suddenly smiled "Oh Dean... Yes, I have and his leg... Man, it's fucking amazing. He is walking Dean. Walking. Was a bit wobbly at first but... Man, I still can't believe you did that, it's incredible"

Dean was beaming "It worked..."

"It worked" confirmed Sam "He... Well... Christ. He was walking, climbing the stairs - it was like... A fucking miracle. I've never seen anything like it"

Dean swallowed "I have to go see him" 

"Yeah man, he kept thanking me and telling me to thank you when I saw you..." 

Dean's heart warmed. He pulled Sam into a crushing hug, then released him and turned back to the door "I'm going to go see him, I want to see this for myself" 

Sam smiled "Say hi from me"

"Sure, later bitch" 

Dean threw his bag on his bed and turned to leave, closing the door behind him... He couldn't stop smiling, Castiel was walking... Actually walking. His leg had worked... And Dean felt great too, his time in The Pit hadn't exactly been easy, but he was through it now... and he felt stronger than ever.

***

Castiel walked, and walked, and walked. His eyes overflowing with tears as he looked down at his new appendage. It was beautiful. It was freedom.

As the days past he walked further and further unaided. Gabriel and Jo on either side of him, ready to catch him if he lost his balance, which was happening less and less as he got used to the weight of his new limb. Dean had done this, Dean... Who he hadn't seen for a week. He wonders when he will get to see him, to thank him... Should be any day now, as Dean had said he'd be making up for the time he'd missed from work to build the leg, he'd said about a week... 

Castiel's eyes had been flicking over to the window repeatedly every day though. Hoping to see him. 

Castiel was sat with Gabriel, taking a break from his repeated laps of the main room, when a crackling sound made everyone stop talking and turn to the tannoy speaker... A message coming through in a strong, clear voice...

 

**

As Dean approaches the window, he can make out a voice, it sounds crackly, like a recording or as though someone is speaking through a tannoy system. He realizes it is the tannoy in the angels living quarters. As he gets closer he begins to make sense of the voice... 

 _"Attention. Attention all angels... An important announcement is about to begin. Please, all gather in the communal area"_ and it repeats  _"Attention. Attention all angels... An important announcement is about to begin. Please all gather in the communal area"_


	25. I'd Rather Have You

_"After extensive testing, it has been confirmed there is a possibility of a cure, a way to make the people who inhabit the base - immune to the radiation outside, the cure lies inside the very brains cells of each of you, the angels. Evidence shows that the chemistry of your nervous system's differs slightly from that of a none modified person, your nerves, and immune system is stronger than the average person, meaning the radiation does affect you, but it is nowhere enough to be fatal"_

The voice paused for a moment, before filling the room again _"To create the cure... We would have to perform an operation to extract a large part of the brain from an angel subject, the damage would be irreversible and could leave the... subject, with a total loss of personality and intellect. The brain tissue could then be studied and used to create an injectable cure, which would, over it is estimated a month or so, change the very make up of a none modified persons brain so that it would match that of an angel's"_

Everyone in the room had stiffened, the tension was thick in the air. Castiel waited, praying, he had never believed they were prisoners, never accepted that they were test subjects, his conversations with Dean had held up his faith that they were seen as people, people willing to help. Wanting to help. All the doctors had to do, right now, was ask... He held his breath, fearing a demand, fearing a number would be called out - as if the doctors had already chosen their 'subject'.

_"We understand that this is a difficult request. We thank you all for everything you have done up to this point and we will never forget the sacrifices that have already been made. We will honor those who have laid down their lives already by never giving up, by pushing forwards, by building a better future, a fairer future... Which starts now - as we ask, for a volunteer. A brave soul to help push mankind forward, to help us get back to the surface. To help us start again. Thank you"_

The voice cut out, and Castiel blew out a breath - so, he truly was free. The tears that bled from his eyes were not tears of sadness, but tears of relief. He knew Dean had been honest, he knew his life had meant something, he knew he wasn't a number... but a person and he also knew, he was a person who would do anything to free his people, all the people, to give everyone the chance to live...  

He sat back in his chair thinking, casting long looks around the room at everyone's stunned faces. It was Gabriel who pulled him from his thoughts.

"Don't you dare" He said quietly looking at Castiel

"What?" Asked Castiel looking up at his friend

"You know exactly what. I know you Cas, I know what you're thinking" Said Gabriel, he rested a hand on Castiel's shoulder "Don't. Please, just don't" 

Castiel looked past Gabriel to all the other angels around the room, Balthazar, Jo, Bela and then back to Gabriel "I have to" He said quietly. He stood up, wobbling slightly on his new leg and took a deep breath "I volunteer!" 

Balthazar turned around in his seat to stare at Castiel with his mouth wide open, but before he could say anything, Gabriel stood up next to him, and in a much louder and firmer voice yelled: "I volunteer!" 

Then, to Castiel's utter surprise, people all around the room started standing up, volunteering. Joshua, Balthazar, Bela and many more. Jo was merely staring at Castiel, tears pooling in her eyes at the thought of losing her dearest friend.

Moved by their faith and bravery, Castiel smiled tearfully... Before catching sight of the man who was stood beyond the window, who looked both stunned and heartbreakingly sad and who was staring at him... Dean.

Gabriel watched as Castiel walked over to the window. Castiel was still getting used to his new leg and he approached Dean slowly, feeling a strange sense of guilt.

"Hello Dean"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He said - not in anger, but despair "You can't do this Castiel, you'll die" 

"It is better to try and hope than live hidden away for the rest of my life"

"But you don't have to do, look at all these people who volunteered as well. It doesn't have to be you. Haven't you given enough? There is something better waiting for you... I'm not saying me" Deans eyes shifted as he looked up at Castiel "Well... maybe me" 

Castiel looked up at Dean, his eyes giving away his nerves even through the glass that parted them. He didn't know what to say, it wasn't as though the idea of him and Dean - together hadn't crossed his mind, but that was a fantasy, they had never even been in the same room. They couldn't touch or kiss. Castiel had no real idea of what Dean's life looked like past the corridor that led up to the window. 

"Y-you?" He stammered unsure of how to react

Dean swallowed "I know, I know... It's crazy, right? You're in there and I'm in here and we can't... I mean, we've never even..." Castiel smiles softly as he watches Dean stumble over his words "But the thought of you being with someone else like that... " Dean pulls a face "I don't like it Cas... And this? No" 

"Dean" Castiel sighed "Listen, I'm not going to lie, you and me - it's crossed my mind too, I look forward to your visits and our chats, but it's not enough. Don't you want someone you can touch? Hold? Don't you want someone who can be a real part of your life?  Don't you want someone... whole? We don't know what's going to happen to me, or the others in here... No, please" Castiel raised a hand as Dean made to interrupt him "We don't know, I could be sent outside again, there is always that chance that I might not make it back here... I mean I nearly didn't last time and if that happened, you'd never really know what happened to me. The same way we don't know what happened to Charlie and the others... How can we even think about being together when we can't, be together? It's already hard when you're gone for days at a time - it feels like months, and we are only friends but watching you walk away every time you visit, I wonder if it will be the last time I will see you. I'm here, but you have a whole other world in there that I can't be a part of. I don't want to sit here wondering who you're spending your time with and how you're spending that time and you shouldn't have to either... It wouldn't be fair"

"We're only friends..." Dean repeated quietly "I'm sorry Cas, I passed friends a long time ago. I really fucking care about you" Said Dean, his voice bled with emotion now "I want you and whilst I know I can't have you in all the ways I'd like, I certainly don't think that way about my other friends, so no... I don't think of you as a friend. And whole? Are you kidding me? So you've got a fake leg - do I seem shallow enough to care about that? You might not have your whole leg Cas, but you have more heart than anyone I have ever met before" 

"Dean..." Castiel looked pained as he took a half step closer to the glass "I have to do whatever it takes to find the cure, to free you, and everyone. I have to stay in here to keep you safe, to keep everyone safe. I could be the key to getting back outside and yes other people volunteered, but only after I did. And it just... makes sense - given my injury that it be me. If I were to back out now, everyone else might back out. Besides, these are my people - doing this myself, keeps them safe"

Dean's head thudded softly against the glass as he looked at Castiel, eyes gleaming with unspilled tears. He brought a hand up to the glass and pushed his head back, shaking it from side to side gently. He held Castiel's gaze and spoke quietly. 

"You may be the cure Cas, but honestly... I really don't care about getting outside anymore, you're the only thing I want to touch. If getting out meant losing you, I'd weld all the doors shut, even if it meant I would only get to spend a lifetime loving you through the glass, because I would rather have you like that, than lose you forever" 

Castiel sighed sadly, Dean's words had wrapped around him and were crushing his heart - he wanted so badly to be able to reach him, touch him. Throw his arms around him and never let go, but instead... "I'd rather risk my own life for the possibility that you and everyone else could be free than spend a lifetime in here trapped away from you, never taking that chance - it would be wrong. I like you Dean, a lot, but it isn't just about me and you, I can't be selfish now" 

Castiel felt his throat closing up at the sight of Dean's tears, he couldn't comfort him, he could only watch. He raised a hand, pressing it against the glass so that it covered Deans, so close, but still worlds apart... Dean's handprint remained outlined by a fog-like shading on the glass, long after he'd turned and walked away from a heartbroken but determined Castiel. 

 


	26. The Raffle

20 Hours After The Important Announcement 

Meg looked into his eyes with equal sadness and admiration, she was holding a clipboard and marking things off as she spoke "No headaches?"

"No"

"No blurred vision?" 

"No"

"No unusual illness?" 

"No"

"No dizzy spells?"

"No"

"On a scale of one to ten, ten being in full health. How would you rate yourself?"

"Ten" 

"Do you agree that you are of sound mind?"

"I do"

Meg nodded, looking up from the clipboard "Lastly, are you absolutely certain you want to give your body over to science?"

"Positive" 

"Alright then. Your operation will be at four O'clock today... If you want to, you will be introduced to the entire assembly of the base, given a last meal - anything you wish to have and then prepped for surgery. Do you have any questions?"

"More of a request..."

"Which is?"

"That you will take care of my friends, whether this works... or not"

Meg swallowed "You have my word"

***

1 Hour After The Important Announcement 

Dean stared at his bloody hand, Sam was staring at him, eyes wide.  He'd punched a hole in their wardrobe door... 

"Dean?" 

"Hmm?" 

But Sam couldn't think of anything to say, Dean had come back from seeing Castiel and ranted steadily for over an hour... Sam had sat there, quiet and listened. His brother had gotten so wound up he'd lashed out, putting his fist through the thick wooden wardrobe door. 

"Sorry Sam" Muttered Dean looking at the mess he'd made "I'll fix it" 

"Dean I don't give two shits about the door, I'm worried about you" 

"I don't know what to tell you, Sam... I'm not ok, not with this, not one little bit" 

"I know, I know" Said Sam watching the steady drip of blood from Dean's hand to the floor slow... "But you need to go and get stitches" 

Dean was about to argue, tell Sam he was fine, but he suddenly welcomed the excuse to leave, be by himself "Yeah, ok" 

"I could go with you?" Sam offered

"No, it's alright Sam... I'm ... I will be fine. I'm just going to go get this looked at" Said Dean walking over to the door, he glanced at his hand again, the bleeding had already stopped. 

*** 

3 Hours After The Important Announcement 

"So how are we going to decide?" Asked Balthazar

"We need to come up with a way that gives every one of the volunteers equal chance," Said Bela who was sat next to him, holding his hand.

"It should be me," Said Castiel, who slumped back in his chair as several angels told him in no uncertain terms, to shut up. 

"Draw numbers? Or names?" Said Gabriel looking around him

"That could work" 

"So we get each angel who wants to volunteer to write out their name and drop it into this bowl... Which we will leave... Where?" Says Balthazar

"The toilets," Says Castiel, as a light bulb clicked on in his head "That way there is no way anyone will know who else will volunteer, everyone, will have to go to the toilet at some point... They can volunteer in private or not" 

"That actually makes sense" Agreed Bela, as she nodded at Castiel. Castiel was already formulating his plan in his mind. 

"We should draw a name from the bowl in twenty-four hours," Said Castiel "So people have time to really think about it" 

"You're just hoping more people will back out" Said Gabriel eyeing him 

"This is a big decision to make, it shouldn't be a spur of the moment thing"

"He's, right Gabe," Said Balthazar "We shouldn't rush this, also if this is someone's final hours... then we should all spend it together" 

The black bowl was placed in the toilets. With two pencils next to it and lots of pieces of paper. Throughout the day, it began to fill up as angel's added their names, as night fell Castiel waited for most of the angels to go to bed. Gabriel and Jo were the last two to stay up with him. He yawned, standing and stretching.

"I'm going to the toilet and then to bed," He said looking down at Gabriel and Jo. 

Gabriel nodded to him, an odd expression on his face as he watched Castiel walk away toward the toilets. Once inside, Castiel locked the door behind him, he hurried over to the bowl, pulling out all the slips of paper, he counted them... Every single angel had volunteered, he smiled sadly before pushing all of them into his pocket. From his other pocket, he pulled out thirty-six slips of folded paper, with his name scribbled on every single one of them... He dropped them into the bowl... Walked over to the toilet and flushed it, then washed his hands... 

"Goodnight," He said as he passed Jo and Gabriel who were also getting up from the table now, Jo wished him a goodnight and went to bed... Gabriel walked up to his room, at Castiel's side.

"Goodnight Castiel," He said as he reached his room. 

18 Hours After The Important Announcement  

Unable to sleep he pulls the covers off him, stepping his bare feet on to the cold concrete, he rubs his hands over his face, making up his mind. He stands, being as quiet as he can, he tiptoes out of his room. He passes by two rooms before slipping into the third, his friend's room, with the letter he'd already written out... He creeps from his friend's room, wiping the tears from his face. He passes another room, then stops to peer into the next, he see's with a pang to his heart, his sleeping friend. He smiles at him, whispering a broken... "Goodbye" Before creeping away. 

He reaches the glass doors. Closing his eyes and summoning all his courage, he walks through... 

Meg is behind the other glass doors. Frowning at him as he is sprayed with the sterilizing vapor. The second set of glass doors open, he steps through. Meg watching him, her eyebrows raising as he says in a firm tone... 

"I volunteer" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with this story, I hope you are enjoying it... I estimate this story will be 30 chapters long. And... Just so you know... The beginning of the next part of this series is already written so there shouldn't be a very long wait after Life Behind Glass Ends. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated XxX


	27. Lost On You

The following morning Castiel walks slowly down the stairs, gripping on to the railing for balance. He makes his way to the window, looking out of it  - hoping to see Dean one last time... But there is no one there. He sighs heavily, hurting Dean was an awful feeling. He felt like he was betraying him - but, he was also trying to help him, him and everyone else. It made sense, didn't it? That even with his false leg, he was damaged and should be the one...

He spotted Balthazar and walked over to him "So, when should we pick a name?" He asks looking around "And where is Gabriel?" 

"He's gone Cas" Repeated Balthazar sadly

Castiel looked into Balthazar's eyes, registered the pain there and blinked at him numbly "What do you mean...?" 

"He saw how much Dean meant to you," Said Balthazar quietly "He saw how much you cared for each other... he always loved you Castiel, and he just... he wanted you to get a chance to be happy" Balthazar reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, holding it out to Castiel - who took it with shaking hands "He wrote this, I haven't read it, he left me a letter too, asking me to give this to you" 

A movement to his side made him glance to look at the window, Dean was there, looking like he'd just ran a sprint, his hands were pressed up against the glass and his expression was begging, a silent plead to Cas to come and talk to him. But Castiel stayed rooted to the spot, his breathing uneasy. He looked back at Balthazar. 

Swallowing hard Castiel unfolded the paper, and with teary eyes, he read. 

_Castiel_

_I don't know how to write this, seems a lame way to say goodbye - but I know you would never have let me do this, you would have asked me to stay and I... I would have done what I always do, and given in to your request. Please understand, I am not gay, I loved you, but like a best friend - a brother... but the thought of you being with anyone else, it made something tighten in my chest that I can't describe as anything other than... jealousy. I just wanted to keep you, I just needed you and that isn't fair... I loved you as a friend, as my family for many years, we grew up together and it was almost like we were brothers._

_But something changed a few years ago, I got sick, do you remember? And you were the only one who cared for me - like I was a person. You were the only one who ever made me feel - like I wasn't alone. And I just... loved you. I couldn't lose you. Didn't want to share you. So I clung on to you with everything I had. I wanted to leave when we were sent out... But I couldn't go without you, I didn't want to live a life without you in it. So when you met Dean, I was not a good friend to you, I tried to get you to doubt him, honestly, I wanted him gone... But over time even I couldn't deny the connection you and he seemed to share. I know Dean cares about you deeply, I know you care about him. I'd been so lost on you, so fearful of ever losing you - that I couldn't see how badly I was treating you and how unfair I was being towards Dean... So, I have volunteered in your place, I couldn't let you die, I didn't want to live in a world where you didn't exist and I wanted to give you the chance to realize your dream, everyone, together... Outside._

_You held us all together for so long, you are far more deserving to see the world you dream of, than I am, you've shown more strength than anyone I know, especially me. Your sometimes frankly frustratingly positive attitude is needed, the way you hold on to your faith in people... The way you care deeply about every single person you meet. The way you always want to help. I haven't been happy for a long time, I have felt caged, you were the only one holding me together - and now I finally see the value in sacrifice - because of you. I want to do this, I want you to get your chance, I can do this - and be happy that I got to help, and be happy that I got to see the world with you before my time came to an end. The world needs you Castiel, you inspire people, you inspired me._

_I truly hope that you can see just how special you are - and not because you are an angel, but because of WHO you are..._

_I wish you and Dean a long and happy life together, in the sun._

_Your friend always,_

_Your brother..._

_Gabriel._

 

Castiel looked up at Balthazar, eyes flooding with tears. Balthazar pulled him into a tight hug. Holding him in his grief. Suddenly a frantic banging on the window drew Castiel out of Balthazar's arms. Sniffing and wiping his face Castiel turned to see Dean banging on the window, he gave Balthazar a look, before he hurried over to the window.

His voice cracked slightly as he spoke "Dean, what are you..."

"Cas... please don't do this" Said Dean desperately, taking deep panicky breaths and shaking.

"Dean, calm down. I'm not, not now." Said Castiel wishing he could pass through the glass and hold Dean, be held by him. Dean looked up in surprise "Gabriel volunteered this morning - whilst everyone was sleeping" 

"Oh," Dean looked at Castiel "Cas, I'm so sorry" Castiel looked up through wet eyes at Dean "I'm so, so sorry" Dean went on "I don't know what else to say" 

"It should have been me. Gabriel didn't want to do this, he wanted to live"

"What, so you don't? " Said Dean doubtfully "He wanted you to live Cas" 

"I want to live, I want to get out of here... Show you the trees, the sun, show you pearls of rain, watch you feel it on your skin for the very first time. Of course, I want that, but I didn't want Gabriel to have to pay for it" Castiel blinked back tears before adding "It isn't fair"

"So you would have paid Cas... You wouldn't have gotten to go outside again. Of course, it's not fair - no one should have to do this. But Gabriel saved your life, and mine" Said Dean staring at Castiel "So let's not waste it by feeling guilty, this was his choice. Let's be grateful instead"

"I..." Castiel looked up through the glass at Dean, head shaking side to side slightly "It should have been me" 

"Please don't say that, I... I need you in a way that scares me, I can't lose you. You mean more to me than the other four thousand people in here combined, well I mean there's my brother - but even he can be a pain in the ass at times" Dean chuckles for a moment, trying to lighten the situation. Before his face rested on sad again and he practically whispered: "Just please don't..."

"Don't what?" 

"Please don't disappear" Sighed Dean heavily "Gabriel did what he did, so you wouldn't have to. He clearly wanted you to live. And so do I" 


	28. The Guardian Angel

Gabriel sits, twiddling his thumbs nervously. Determination courses through him... but he is still scared. And now that he is separated from the other angel's, his fear is all he has to keep him company as he sits on the bed of the 'angel' infirmary. A separate room that is cut off from the angels and the base... The room where Castiel had his new leg attached. 

He was told to get some sleep, but really - how the hell was he meant to do that? When he was likely going to die today... His mind was running through his whole life. Rewatching it like a film in his head... His happy moments, his mistakes, going outside... The moment he decided to return to base because Castiel and Balthazar were. Meeting Dean, seeing Castiel come back to the base, missing a leg... Seeing his face when he woke up with his new one... 

Hours passed in painful silence. Until... finally. Meg appeared, hazmat suit on and a tray of food in her hand.  

"How about cake for breakfast?" She says smiling sadly at Gabriel 

"Fucking right, I should get cake," Said Gabriel his cocky bravado slipping on like a mask as he looks up at her and the food she is carrying. 

Meg sits with him as he eats. Talking to him about the lady who'd baked the cake for him, some woman named Kali who lived in the base. 

***

Gabriel grumbles as he pulls on the hazmat, a part of him just wants to get it over with, but another part of him is happy to procrastinate and besides, he'd be the first angel to ever see the base... 

Meg holds his gloved hand and leads him down a corridor, up some steps and pushes a heavy metal door open... He gasps. 

The deafening cheer of over four thousand people, make his eyes sting wet with tears... They are all screaming and cheering and thanking him... It quickly becomes too much - and Gabriel is sobbing behind the plastic mask of his hazmat - unable to wipe away the tears that flow like a river down his face... He suddenly - gets it. Everything Castiel has ever said about it being bigger than just them... All these people, that Gabriel always assumed didn't care - they all looked thin, tired, but... hopeful. Maybe, just maybe - Gabriel could help free them... 

The scores of children waving 'angel wing' flags was enough to have him stumble to his knees... Totally and completely overwhelmed. 

He listens as someone who is apparently a member of a council speaks, thanking Gabriel by name for his willingness to sacrifice. The crowds cheer him, it seems to last forever... In the end, he is helped to his feet by Meg and asked if he has anything to say... 

He swallows thickly, what can he possibly even say? He tries to think as his eyes scan the room... He suddenly spots Dean in one of the front rows, his brother Sam next to him, Dean looks sad... He suddenly knows what to say... 

"Always, always look after each other... Make sacrifices for those you care about, make tomorrow better than today" He nods at Dean, hoping Dean understands that Gabriel sees all those things in him. 

***

Gabriel sits deathly still as Meg stands above him, shaving his head, he breaths deeply through his nose... The hair falls before his eyes. Brown curls billowing down to the ground. He can feel the cool air on his bald head. A strange sensation. 

After his haircut. Meg brings in another tray of food. Roast chicken, potatoes, carrots... Gabriel feels like it's a bit of a waste - but fuck it if he doesn't deserve a little luxury treatment right now. He eats it all. Savoring the flavors... His belly is full and so is his heart - his resolve to do what needed to be done, had been cemented by the faces of all those children... 

***

Gabriel is laid in bed shaking, slightly sweaty and his breathing is rough. As Meg brings up the mouthpiece in front of him, she looks - uncomfortable, sad and guilty. Gabriel swallows as his eyes land on the mask...

"This will put you to sleep in less than ten seconds. You won't feel anything" She says

"Just do it, please - I can't... Just please, get it over with"

"Thank you, Gabriel," She says lightly as she puts the mask over Gabriel's face and counts "One, Two, Three, Four, Five..." Gabriel's eyes slip closed... 

 

***

Four weeks later, Gabriel had never returned to the angels... And Dean's new drawings hang all over the base, and a copy hangs on the window, for the angels...  

Our Guardian Angel; Gabriel 


	29. Breaking Free

Five Weeks After Gabriel's Sacrifice

"No offense Dean... What Gabriel did was truly admirable but I am not willing to go outside until I know, it's not going to kill me" Said Crowley looking at Dean "I believe it will work, Meg is brilliant after all, but until I see with my own eyes that it is truly safe, I will not be leaving..."

A week after Gabriel left the angels, his cure, known as 'Angel Grace' was distributed. Injections were still being given, but it's now been four weeks since Dean got his and he and Sam had both volunteered to be in the first wave of the base to go out and test it. One hundred people were leaving the base today, along with thirty-six angels. 

Castiel and Dean were going to meet... Face to face, with no glass barrier between them. 

Dean nodded to Crowley "I understand" He said "But... I don't know - I just, feel it. It's going to work" 

"I wish you the best of luck Dean. Truly. And I hope to see you again soon"

Dean smiled, raised his hand and shook Crowley's, before turning and walking away to go and find Sam. 

***

"You excited?" Asked Sam smiling at Dean, he knew his brother - it wasn't the outside he was looking forward to finally reaching, it was Castiel. 

"I'm doing alright," Said Dean playing it down - massively.

"Just admit it Dean" 

"Alright, fuck it - I'm so excited... I may vomit" Laughed Dean 

"Yeah - that would be a great first impression to Cas" Laughed Sam "I am happy for you though. I know how you feel about him, this must be like a dream come true" 

"Dude... you have no fucking idea, I kinda never really thought this day would come - not in our lifetime..." Admits Dean

***

Meanwhile, Castiel is packing. Today is the day, he will get to see if Gabriel's sacrifice was worth it, and he hopes, he fucking hopes and prays it was because three hours earlier Dean told him, he was going to be going out too. Castiel is stressed, to say the least - the idea of one hundred people, getting sick and dying in front of him was bad enough, but when one of those people was Dean... 

He felt ill. 

***

Dean is packed, he is walking side by side with Sam. 

Castiel is packed, he and the other angels pass through their glass doors, he and Dean are heading towards each other, hidden from each others sight by walls and doors... Their journeys may be different, but for once - their destination is the same, each other. 

The angels are not sprayed with the decontamination vapor, it is pointless now, they know they will be alright going outside. The door opens before them and they walk forward until they are all in the room before the great metal door. An eerie silence falling, as they wait. Castiel gently pushes his way through to stand in front of the glass doors, waiting... Then, he sees people, his heart begins beating wildly in his chest as he sees Dean, two glass doors from where he stands... The doors nearest the other group of people open... 

And Dean sees Castiel. Neither is smiling, the importance of the next minute, is nothing to be taken lightly - it's monumental... They both just gaze at each other, eyes drowning in emotion - but no tears. 

Castiel watches with nervous excitement as Dean and some of the others all pile into the room between the two glass doors, behind just one door now, the vapor never comes though - unnecessary now. Seconds that seem to drag for years pass and Dean and Castiel are staring at each other through the glass... Always it seems, through the glass. Until...

The glass doors opened in front of them... and there they were. Face to face, breathing the same air...

There is a thick tension building between them as Dean steps forward, he is right there, right in front of him, their eyes are searching each other's face, Dean licks his lip nervously, and Castiel is shaking slightly. Then Sam steps up and bumps into Dean, knocking him a step closer to Castiel... as more of the angels step through the doors, the moment seems to burst and before Dean can even say anything... The glass doors close and the great metal door groans as it begins to rise, natural light beginning to fill the room. 

With a glance at Dean, Castiel grabs his hand... Holding it firmly, touching... actual skin contact. The door stops, fully open... And Castiel leads Dean out into the sunlight, holding on to him as though he never, ever - wants to let go. 


	30. On The Grass

Castiel pulled Dean outside with him, squeezing his hand. Dean barely even looked about him... His concentration completely taken on the hand holding his own... He was holding Castiel's hand... 

This was real? Right? He'd had so many dreams of this moment, he had to pinch himself to make sure he was actually awake... 

Dean turned to Sam, who was smiling at him and Castiel "I... er..." 

Castiel stopped beside him, looking from Dean's face to Sam's. He wanted to get Dean alone... As soon as possible. He wanted to hold him, be held... He wanted it all.

Sam laughed "Go ahead... I'll be here when you get back" 

Dean looked at Sam, smiling "Thanks Sammy" 

As Dean and Castiel walked a little ways away from the group, through the woods - together, hand in hand. Dean felt as though he was invincible, with Castiel by his side, the grass beneath his bare feet, the warmth of the orange sun that cut through the trees on his face... He could smell the plants, he could feel the earth, almost spongey under his feet, he could feel the wind...

He turned to Castiel smiling "We made it" He said softly

"Yeah..." Said Castiel, taking a quaking breath as Dean stopped in front of him... 

"Beautiful" Murmured Dean - not looking at the trees or the outside - but right into Castiel's eyes. 

He leaned in, eyes catching Castiel's eyes, ready... he was going to kiss him... This was going to be it, their first kiss. Dean's face was mere centimeters from Castiel's, he could feel the man's warm breath ghost over his face, his eyes closed slowly... 

At that moment... A blood chilling scream rang out through the air around them. Castiel's eyes flew open, staring into Dean's for a fraction of a second before they both sped off towards the camp, Castiel's slight limp on his robotic leg barely slowing him at all. Hearts pounding, they ran. As they neared the camp there was a circle of people surrounding something on the ground, there were several people crying, others with knives out, looking around wildly, a few more with heavy tree branches... The crowd parted to reveal Sam Winchester, lay sprawled out on the ground... A heavy wooden spear cutting right through his chest, his lifeless eyes still open, blood over spilling over his lips and trickling down his paling skin... 

He was dead. Dean stopped just in front of his brother's body, panting heavily. He dropped to his knee's by Sam's side, looking sickly... 

"Sam..." He whispered clutching his brother's hand, as blood pooled on the grass under his knee's. His head swam, his vision spinning, his stomach rolling as he looked down into his baby brothers lifeless eyes... This couldn't be real, could it? Sam wasn't really... dead? 

Castiel stared in shock, he turned to Balthazar "What... What?" 

"It came out of nowhere..." Said Balthazar eyes frozen on Sam's face as he held Bela close to him.

"But..." Castiel's voice cracked as he watched Dean break down over his brother's body "But..."

Bela wept as she clung on to Balthazar, lifting her head slightly she looked through red eyes at Castiel "We're not alone out here"

***

Naomi tilted her head slightly, looking down at the bloodied face of the red-haired woman on the ground beside her... 

"Where is this Castiel you speak of?" She asked coldly

Charlie slowly raised her head, looking through the trees at the people emerging from the base. She closed her eyes, a tear rolling down her face "He isn't there" She said quietly, before lowering her gaze again. 

"Good, then we are not in endangering my future mate" She turned to Gordan, who'd clenched his jaw at her words, his dirt-smeared face returning to a neutral expression as Naomi spoke to him "Kill the giant" 

Gordan, nodded his head slightly, before raising his wooden spear, taking careful aim... He threw it, a strong and precise aim. Charlie broke into quiet sobs as she watched the long-haired man crumple under the weight of the spear hitting him square in the chest, then a scream... Charlie saw Bela, dropping to the side of the man. Trying to help him... And then she watched Balthazar pull her up and away a little as they look desperately in their direction for the source of the attack. 

 

The Next Day...

Deep in the depths of the base...

Level 6.

Dean turns to Crowley, a hard look on his face as he stares down the hallway... Crowley nods. 

"This is why I've been down here all this time, this is what my work was for, I always knew, we couldn't be the only ones... This is why I built our army..." 

Dean presses a small round button on the wall... The cell doors all creak open in eerie unison. 

"Well... We're going to need an army" Said Dean, thinking of Sam, pale and bloody on the floor "Because no matter what Castiel said or agreed to yesterday...we  _are_ going to war..."

 

THE END


End file.
